How To Stand Out In A Noisy World: UnBland Yourself Book Launch

00:00:00 It's been a hot minute since we've been live, especially with my friend Nidhi Tawari. Nidhi, wave your hand, please. There we go. And then there's Rodrigo Tusca, my partner in crime, my best bud. He's here in the studio. He's going to stay silent most of the time because he's literally like two arms length away from me. So, we don't want to get my crossover. We're doing this event to help launch the book, my my upcoming book, the workbook, Unbland: How to Stand Out in a Noisy World. You can see 00:00:27 it there as a mockup. Currently, it's only available as a digital download. Probably next year, first quarter, quarter two, we'll have a printed copy. And there's a good reason why. I'll explain why right now, okay? Because some people are asking, I want the tangible printed copy. We have Pocket Full of Dell. We love the printing and the colors and how it feels in our hands. I totally hear you. And some of you who have published a book before, I understand the stress that goes into 00:00:52 making a book and that you can't unpublish a book. And I thought of a different way of doing a book. I'll do a digital workbook first of all, so it's a little bit different than a book because you can actually write in it, work through a problem, and hopefully learn the things that I want you to learn in an interactive way. I kind of think it as a a workshop in a book format. And the reason why it's digital first is because you can download it, you can work on it, but that gives me the 00:01:18 opportunity to update it as I go to see if I can't make it better. So once I feel like it's perfect, then I will go to press and that way we don't waste a lot of paper. So I'm hoping that all of you who are interested in buying the book will buy it today. And the reason why is because we're going to give you some incentive. Normally it's going to retail for $99. I'm going to give you two incentives. Number one, it's going to sell for $69 right now. So if or is it 59? I think it's $59. I'm sorry. My 00:01:47 bad. I'm stuck on the number 69 for some reason. It's $59. And if you buy it today, you'll also get a $20 voucher or credit towards buying the print version. So you can have both if you want. That way you can start the new year strong understanding more about yourself, how you want to show up in the world and be completely leaning into the USU you can be. And that way also if you would desire to get the printed copy, we'll give you 20 bucks off that. And that will retail, I think for right now, 00:02:17 don't hold me to it, for $99. that'll be printed like full size 8 and 1 half x 11 on probably colored paper with nice printing and all that stuff. So those are your two options. If you buy the digital copy it means that you'll get all version one upgrades for free. Um and I have to say this because it's not always that forever you will get the updates forever. Okay? Because I plan on releasing edition two and three of this book. Meaning the this is a foundational level and there's probably more advanced 00:02:44 components to this. So there will be book two and three as a part of the series. not just as an update. So, I just want to be fully transparent to let you know what's going on with that. Now, I'll pop the QR code here in case you're watching this. You can scan that in. You can buy a copy of the book. And I hope you'll support me. If you watch any of our videos in the last year and a half or so, you'll notice I've been talking a lot about a lot about personal branding. Some of you have been to the workshops. 00:03:09 I do single day, multi-day workshops on personal branding for thousands of dollars. and I have yet to put together a complete um kind of anthology of everything that I've learned and the things that I teach about personal branding. So, I wanted to put that together for you to share it so that if you don't have the opportunity to show up in person, you can play along. You can watch some of the videos and they'll give you some clues, but they'll include instructions. I will show you a few 00:03:34 screenshots and then I'm going to bring my friend Nidhi and Drigo into the conversation. They're going to help me monitor the comments. So, if you have a comment or question about personal branding, we're doing personal branding for the next hour and a half, 90 minutes. Be more than happy to talk to you about that. All right. So, I'm going to show you a sneak peek. Now, currently the book is about 70 pages long and it'll probably swell to about 90 to 100 pages. I'm not trying to hit a page 00:03:57 count. I want to make every page count. So, it's not about just extending copy, but I realize some of the frameworks and exercises need more instruction and some examples to make it as bulletproof as DIY as I can. So, let me try and share that screen real quick. I haven't done this before. So, let me try share screen. Uh, I want to share window and it's this one right here. Okay, hopefully you guys are seeing that right now. Okay, cool. Drigo, you dropped out of the stage for a reason. 00:04:30 >> Uh, no. >> I'll add you back. Let me add you back. Sorry. Oh, okay. For some reason, I can't show you because it bounces you out. Okay. So, this is a preview. So, you can see it. If I go to light table, you can see that. So, I'll just quickly scan through it here. There's certain exercises, some illustrations involved, and a lot of frameworks. So, some things are still missing. That's why the blank pages are there. They're placeholder. Okay. And so if I go into say I don't know we could 00:04:58 talk about uh maybe this exercise like this is a question I've asked people live on stage before. If they have a better product and you have I'm sorry if they have if you have a better they have a better brand my bad and you have a better product who wins and so I kind of asked you to think through this. There'll probably be another page for you to try it on your own by listing a few brands that you love or products that you love and to answer this question for yourself. Now, as as a kind 00:05:24 of a spoiler alert, I've asked this question to many people across different audiences where I've spoken. I've yet to find someone who tells me that a better product beats the better brand and we keep thinking about it. So, maybe you'll be the first person and I'm open to being pleasantly surprised, but this is an important f uh or facet for us to understand is that often times as creative people, as people running our businesses, we focus on trying to improve the product. And at certain 00:05:52 point once your product is good enough, it does the job as promised, it's fairly priced in the marketplace, it's my opinion that you should spend the rest of your time working on the brand, the relationship that you have with the customer to make it so sticky that you become a charismatic brand. uh a a term that I learned from reading Marty Newer's books, one in which the client or the consumer feels like there's no replacement for that if that brand were no longer to exist in the world, we 00:06:23 would feel saddened by that. And the opposite of that is a commodity. So, let me stop the share here. Stop the share. The opposite of that is commodity. And a commodity is basically a a product or service without a story. And so if you don't have a really good story, um this becomes a a problem for you because if people can't differentiate you from your competitor, why would they pick you? So then they are or you are forcing them to just shop for the lowest price. Okay, there are three main concepts I want to 00:06:56 share with you today and then we'll we'll bring Nidi into this conversation as well as Drigo. three big concepts that you need to understand. Uh if you want to build a strong persuasive sticky brand, one that people feel magnetically drawn to. Number one is you have to be different. You have to find a way to be different. And this is difficult for a lot of people. Uh because we've been taught mostly and socialized in such a way that to be different means to be ostracized from our community. There is 00:07:25 no safety in being different. We have grown into communities, large communities online and in real life. And when we stand out too much, we are often left out. And this is not a very safe way. Uh there's this I I can't remember where I saw this video on social media. Um and it was something about humans were designed to play. Um this is from a comedian. I'm forgetting his name. He's British comedian because he was asked this question. Um and and the thing that he said was we don't we we don't stop 00:07:57 playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing. That everything in modern society within humans is designed for us to play. And he says if you drop a person onto an island, you're feeding the animals. But if you drop drop a group of 10 people onto an island, we become the apex predator. It's because we collaborate, we work together, and that's all formed in games. So, we play. This is an important concept for us to understand because if we stand out, often times we're taught 00:08:27 in childhood that we're not allowed to play with people because you're being too weird, you're being too loud, uh you do things differently. Okay? And so there's strong social component to this that makes us feel like we don't want to stand out. And that's part of the problem. Okay? Concept number two is we have to have the courage to be disliked. Okay. So, we're going to stand out. And in case that the second idea, the big idea sounds familiar to you because my friend Jodie Cook turned me on to a book 00:08:57 I've had on my shelf for many years, but I've never read it. But she's like, "This is my favorite book, Chris. The Courage to be Disliked." And I was reading. I'm like, "This is exactly how I feel and think. It's 100% aligned with how I feel." And what that means is sometimes when you have an opinion, an opinion worth sharing, not everyone's going to like it. Now the problem with this general concept is most people share opinions that most people like. So 00:09:23 what is the point of that? Mark Manson talks about this. He says if you want to be a 1enter, you have to be a contrarian. You have to go against what 99% of the people believe. That's just a rough number. It's not literal. And not only do you have to be a contrarian, you have to be a correct contrarian. So anybody can say the moon's purple or it's made of cheese or whatever. That would be a contrarian point of view. but you'd be wrong and you'd be kind of laughed at. And so you kind of have to 00:09:50 go against the grain. You have to say something that is going to be sometimes divisive. Not intentionally to be divisive, not to stir the pot, if you will, but an opinion that's not so popular. You have a specific take on the world, a point of view that you want to express with the world. Okay? And I'll explain how this works in in in uh kind of as a real example versus theoretical. Okay? So number three is and and this is the the last one I'm adding to this is you must be aesthetically discerning. 00:10:23 What that means is you must have a preference for things that look good. You have to have good taste. And often times we're we talk about like why are we attracted to beautiful things? Why are we attracted to beautiful people? It's because beauty is a shorthand for good health. And if some a product is beautiful, then you think of it as wellade, like it's well-crafted. It's going to last a long time. It's made with premium materials. And so when you touch things that are cheap in 00:10:50 packaging, you feel like it's a cheap product. And we know this through a thousand different examples and experiments around packaging. Seth Goden writes about this in a book, All Marketers Are Liars. So they lie and we are complicit in the lie. When we buy an expensive bottle of wine, we taste the wine or we we feel it's premium quality before we before we even take our first sip. And the same thing goes with food. And they've done different experiments with this. They bring people into a 00:11:17 fancy restaurant. They tell them all the ingredients, how it's prepared, and it's like tuna fish from a can. And they're like, "This is the most exquisite crab or whatever it is they say." And I think Payless Shoes did something similar where they created a storefront, they created a fake brand, they sold payless shoes which I think are not very expensive and they told people is worth a lot and they were willing to buy all through packaging. So those are the three components. Okay, be different. Um 00:11:43 have the courage to be disliked and to have um to be aesthetically discerning meaning to prefer beautiful things to produce beautiful things. And we can see this throughout all of our society. So, that's the beginning. Those are the three big concepts I wanted to share with you. I just wanted to open up. So, I'm going to bring Nidhi back on along with Drigo. Drio's helping monitor. He can't say too much because there's going to be audio spillover. So, for now, he's just a pretty face, everybody. But, he's 00:12:09 more than just that. So, Nidhi, some some maybe some thoughts or questions from you perhaps or how have you been exploring your own personal brand and what has that done for you so far? >> Yeah, uh definitely have questions and happy to share. I I think part of my years of working alongside you, Chris, is really honing into what differentiates me from other people in the mental health field, other people in the work culture field, and figuring out what those contrarian points are. Like you mentioned, it's hard because you do 00:12:39 have to kind of push yourself outside of your comfort zone and fight the urge to conform, which it feels so much safer, right? Um, so I guess my first question for you is in your workbook, how do you help people to navigate that? because I I know so many people in the audience are thinking I want to be contrarian. I know that I have opinions that might help me to stand out from the crowd, but I have these the schema this idea within myself that it's not safe to do that. Um, and then when they receive feedback 00:13:09 online, because inevitably when you post on social media, there's going to be people that disagree with you. It it kind of it sends them into a tail spin. How can they navigate that a little bit more effectively so they feel more comfortable pushing the boundaries? >> Okay. Can we get personal, Nidi? >> Can I ask you a few questions, too? >> Yeah, of course. >> Okay. I remember there was a period in time. By the way, you look great. I know you're on a super fitness uh regimen. Is 00:13:37 it regimen? >> Yeah, it's a regimen. It's a regimen. >> Yeah. It's like I always get confused regime with regiment and the regimen. Okay. So, you're looking great. By the way, I just want to acknowledge that. Uh, but you're a licensed clinical social worker and I remember when you were posting content on social, we had a whole discussion about this. You're like, "Chris, I wish I could say this, but I can't create these relationships. I might alienate some people." As how 00:14:00 you've navigated this yourself. You know what's so interesting is that I spent so many years trying to suppress the part of myself that was going to ruffle feathers because I was so what was so important to me was feeling like I had mass appeal to people which then meant I was bland right it was like all of the opinions were had been uh stated before by somebody and often said better by somebody else who's in a higher level of thought leadership so the turning point for me was when I joined Tik Tok 00:14:32 talk. I had done two years of mental health content that was, you know, mental health tips, how to manage your stress, here's how you do good self-care, things that honestly there's probably thousands of therapists out there who are talking about this. What started to help me to grow on that platform, I'm almost at 20,000 followers there now, is I started to talk about the things that nobody else was talking about. Um, so a lot of my focus shifted to work culture and I started calling 00:15:00 out the things that were really dark sides of the workplace, uh, about the way that employees get mistreated, bullying in the workplace, um, the unspoken rules of the corporate world. And the minute that I started leaning into those types of that that type of content, those types of concepts, my following started to really grow at an accelerated rate. And so to your point, it was when I started saying the things that I felt initially unsafe saying, I was scared, oh, if I say these things, you know, the the people that would hire 00:15:32 me to speak at a corporation, they're not going to like the fact that I'm calling out, you know, the BS of the corporate world. Um, but the minute that I started leaning into that, it actually helped my social media accounts to take off and it also helped me to even broaden my speaking audience as well because it identified a problem that nobody else was addressing. So, it was scary. I'm not going to lie. I felt really afraid at first because there are people still to this day in my comments 00:16:00 that are like, um, this is a terrible opinion. I disagree. You're not going to get anywhere in your career if you follow this advice. But I don't let that deter me because if I don't say it, for every person who gives me that type of comment, there's like 20 other people that are like, "Oh my god, I needed to hear this a year ago." Or, "Yes, I completely agree with you." So, I found that it's really protecting uh protecting myself in the sense that I don't let the really high like praise 00:16:29 comments boost my ego, but I also try to filter out the the people who are going to be mean and who are going to say things that just don't even make sense in the comments. I also filter them out, too. >> So, it sounds to me like there was this period of hesitation about the way that you're supposed to behave as a professional. And this is very common whenever I talk to anybody. And then there's a point in which you have to make a decision. Um we we kind of can relate to Joseph Campbell's a hero with 00:16:59 a um what is that? Hero with a thousand face faces hero's journey. Uh there's a herald who comes to you and has a call to adventure. And then there's the refuse of the call. You're the hero in the story here. You're the hero in your own story. And you you have the refuse of the call. You're like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to alienate folks. I don't want to jeopardize my business. And there's that resistance. And so then there's a moment that you're 00:17:23 like, you know what? There's a higher purpose, a higher calling. I need to do something. Often times in the hero's journey, a mentor appears and says, you can do this. I'll help you. And you cross the threshold. You leave the ordinary world behind and you enter into the new world. And you go through a series of trials and tribulations. That's me getting back to your original question, which is how do we respond when we have an opinion about something? And then people start attacking us. 00:17:49 Okay. So I want to get to that. You say there's some people who want to be contrarian, right? And are afraid. So I'm a little suspicious of the word want. And I don't want to get too crazy with this to zoom in on the word want. I always feel suspicious when somebody says I want to do something. You know, there's that line from Yoda uh try or try not or do or do not. There's no try. So it's like do you if you are a contrarian person you can't help yourself you're going to be that what is 00:18:22 the thing that's creating such a strong filter in your life that you feel so afraid to express your opinion and so let's address that first so when somebody's like I want to lose weight I want to be a TED speaker I want to be a speaker at South by Southwest you know all I want to be rich and famous um I want to bring in your background in in therapy and coaching um what how do you respond to somebody who says I want something. >> Well, my first question is to get curious about okay, so you desire this. 00:18:54 What has been getting in the way of you taking the steps towards achieving it and identifying what those barriers are so that we can then address each one? >> Okay. So, if you can recollect um a conversation you've had with somebody in the past about this, how might they respond? Can you do both sides? because I'm curious how you resolve this or I want to hear your take on this and this might be an opportunity for you be a correct contrarian right now where you're going to say something that's 00:19:22 going to spark some debate. >> Um, okay. So, the first thing I usually hear from people is, "Well, I just don't want people to judge me. Like, I'm afraid of what people are going to think and say about me." And so, what my response to that typically is is, "Okay, so it sounds like it's important for you to be liked. that's something that uh is a value of yours. However, um by saying that you don't want people to feel a particular way, you don't want them to 00:19:48 judge you. They don't want you don't want them to view you in a particular light. That means that you're trying to control other people's impressions of you. And you don't have control over that. All you have control over is what you do, how you show up, what you put out into the world. And there will be some people who resonate with it. And inevitably, there will be people who don't. and that's okay, but that is not something that you have control over. And just because that's a fear of yours 00:20:14 doesn't mean that you should hold yourself back from putting something out there. Uh the other thing that I hear from people all the time is well, but I'm just one of like hundreds of people talking about this. Like uh in the mental health field or in the work culture field, there's like, you know, hundreds of other people that are talking about this. And the thing that I say is that's true. Absolutely. There are lots of people who are talking about similar topics. But do they have your 00:20:38 experience, your voice, do they have your way of expressing your thoughts and beliefs in the unique fashion that you do it? Absolutely not. And that you and I can talk about, let's take personal branding. You and I, Chris, could talk about personal branding right alongside each other like we are right now. And some people are going to really resonate with the way that you speak about it. And some people will really resonate with the way that I address it. That doesn't mean it's good 00:21:03 or better or worse. It just simply means that we have different approaches and that approach is only going to resonate with a a certain segment of people. So the goal can't be to please everybody. The goal can't be that uh you hold yourself back because there's other people who are speaking about the same topics. It's about differentiating yourself and how are you going to approach it from your unique thought process and your unique standpoint so that people can get a sense of who you 00:21:30 are and follow you as a result. >> Okay. I love your take on this. My take would be a little bit different. Um because I'm not trained like you. I don't have to have as much care or concern for the person's mental well-being. [laughter] >> Tell it like it is. >> Which frees me up to do whatever the heck I want. So if somebody were to say to me, I want to be a contrarian, I would say, well, why do you want this? And what has stopped you in the past? I would just ask lots and lots of 00:22:01 questions. And if they said the same thing is, I'm afraid of being judged and criticized, then I would just ask them a question. What do you think a contrarian means then? >> So it seems like you're in desperate conflict, your desire to be something. So only one of these things can be true. Either you want people to not judge you or you want to say things that you'll be judged for. Which is the greater of the two truths? Because they both cannot exist in my mind. Help me resolve that. 00:22:30 to which what would they say Nidhi? >> Uh you know I think that that would be an internal conflict right like one part of them really wants to say the thing that nobody else is saying the other part of them is afraid of being judged. Um what would they say to that? I mean you know they might say well I do I have thoughts and opinions that nobody else is talking about. Uh but if I express them people aren't going to like me. they may not work with me and I really want I I want to be appealing to a vast 00:23:04 segment of the population. I don't want to have such a small niche of people that's interested in my my thoughts, my thought leadership. >> So I I don't know the exact story. I think it's a Native American story about two wolves. Let's say one wolf wants to be a contrarian to go against the grain to speak their mind to be free to do something different to express their truth to the world. And the other wolf really cares about what other people think. Whichever wolf wins is the one 00:23:28 that you feed. So in a case like this, which wolf would you feed? >> Me personally, I mean, I would >> No, not you. I'm speaking for that person. You're stealing that person. Don't break role play. We're not [laughter] rolling back the curtain. No, don't break it. Come on. You're rusty on this one. >> My bad. My bad. I'm rusty. I'm rusty. Okay. Yeah. Well, you know, I really want to be a contrarian. Like, I want to stand out from people from the crowd. 00:23:52 >> Okay. So, do you have any other problems? >> Well, but my thing is, you know, when uh I get these like I get the sense that there are people who are going to think negatively about me if I post this stuff, right? So, like when people are in my comments, it kind of derails my whole day when they say, "I don't agree with you." Or, "That's a stupid opinion." This is where I interrupt you and I reach through the screen and grab you by the collar and say, "What part of 00:24:23 contrarian don't you understand? You're talking on two sides of your face right now. So, you have to stop that." I believe you're horribly conflicted in the fact that you've asked this question means you care so much about what people think of you that you cannot be a contrarian. So, be at peace with that, friend, and just move through life saying what everybody wants to hear. That's super safe. Are you okay with that? >> I am. Except will that then mean that I get I don't get as far ahead as I would 00:24:54 like to get. Like will can I still build the business the social media following that I desire if I stick to what's safe? >> Well, [sighs] I I don't know if you can if you hear this in the way you speak. Perhaps when you listen back to this call, try to see how many times you say the exact opposite things in one sentence. Are you aware that you're saying the opposite things at the same time? I'm just curious. >> Well, I don't think that they're opposite, though, because when you when 00:25:27 I'm talking about building a business, are those mutually exclusive things that you you can't What about like the the millions of people that do blend in? Are you saying that they don't have a successful business and that they're not thriving in their business in some way? No, we're not talking about successful businesses. I believe the question was, I want to be a contrarian, but I'm afraid of being judged. Now, you've added a new factor into having a successful business. Now, you've now 00:25:52 you're feeding three wolves. Which wolf would you like to feed first? And how many wolves are there in this pen of yours? >> There's many many conflicting thoughts. Um, >> so I'm going to create a violent visual for you right now. There's a boat. There's two of us. We're in the ocean. If you can't bring this to a clarity, one of us will leave this boat. Probably me. >> Oh, no. Don't leave. >> I'll swim to shore. I mean, it's okay. I'll be all right. And you could be here 00:26:20 in this boat because we can't do this double speak. I just I can't work like this. Perhaps you can call my friend Nei, who's much more patient than I am. But you're talking out of two sides of your mouth right now, friend. You really are. You're saying, "I have strong opinions. I have beliefs and values and things that are contrarian." By definition, contrarian means to go against the grain. they're going to be unpopular. That's how this works, you know. And then you say, "But I want to 00:26:43 say the things that everybody says so I can be safe because I'm afraid of being judged." Those are two conflicting ideas. I hope you can hear that. >> Is it true though that every contrarian says things that people don't like to hear? Can you be contrarian and state an opinion that is uncommon or something that isn't like the status quo and it still be something that people don't dislike? >> I wonder if we have a common understanding of contrarian. What do you think contrary means, friend? 00:27:17 >> You know, I think it's uh going against >> use it in a sentence. Use it in a sentence. Prove to me you understand the word contrarian, please. [laughter] >> And please stay in character. >> I am. I am. This is not Nitty talking here. [laughter] >> I wish people could see my blood boiling right now because I'm [laughter] doing everything I can. >> Burning red, >> bro. Zeness. Zenis. Stay in the pocket. All [laughter] right. >> That's hilarious. Um, okay. So, 00:27:44 contrarian in a sentence. Uh, definition, please. No, I'm just kidding. Um, spelling spelling be here. the so a lot of people think that you should stick it out at work on a particular trajectory, but a contrarian opinion would be that the skill to really hone is learning when to quit. Knowing when to move on to something else, right? Is that that is my definition of contrarian. Common belief says one thing, I say something different. >> Okay? So contrary to popular belief, >> right? Contrast contrary going against 00:28:19 so that's going to be popular or unpopular you think >> you want me to give the ni answer the ni answer is that >> you can give who is still in character here I mean if 90% of people believe something and 10% of the people believe something which of the two by ratio is the contrarian point of view >> the 10% belief >> okay so you do understand this that 90% of the people are not going to believe you. >> Yeah, that's right. >> Okay. All right. So, you understand what 00:28:48 contrarian means. You've given me an example and you are correct. That's a good example. >> Not a definition, but a good example. Okay. So, now your your second part to this is now I really seriously question your desire to be contrarian. >> Maybe you heard it on the street. Uh it was in the bathroom. Uh you know, like people are like, "Oh, it's so cool to be a contrarian person." You're like, "Yeah, that's me. I'm so contrarian." You just can't be both. That's the 00:29:12 problem. If you're part of the majority, everything you say is part of the majority will not sound any different except for to the 10%. So even in your desire to speak to more people, if you say what everyone else is saying, aren't you just contributing to the noise? So by saying what everyone else is saying, the 90%, you may be appealing to the 10enters who are like, "Oh, that's a very majority position I've not considered before. No one says that." So you get probably 0% of the 00:29:41 10%. But if you're a part of the contrarian point of view, the 10% who then says something that the 90% doesn't agree with, some of that percentage might be like, "You have a really good point. I've never thought of it that way." So now you have a higher percentage, whatever that percentage might be, of 90 versus zero of 10. I hate to do Asian math on you like that, but that's how I'm clocking out on this one. What do you think, Nitty? Well, but so wouldn't it be better though to 00:30:09 appeal to the 90% because they that doesn't that broaden then the >> Yeah. >> opportunity. You see what I'm saying? Like the 10%. >> Yeah. Yeah. So let's do the math. I'm going to say what everybody part as part of the 90% say over and over again. So therefore the 90% will ignore me or pay attention to me. >> What differentiates though the the portion of the 90% that pays attention to you? Like what makes that difference then? Or is it that there's some 00:30:37 contrarianism? That's a word. >> Well, you gave it you gave in your example. Say the vast majority of people think that you should stick it out at work. That you you need to be a lifer at work and that's how you climb the corporate ladder. And your point of view is sometimes it's actually not healthy or good to stay at work even if your desire is to climb the corporate ladder. Sometimes you have to know when to quit. So if you were to say that to the 90% of the people who believe they should stick 00:31:01 it out the work and you make a really strong case as to why, you site examples, you do case studies, you give them frameworks, you tell them stories, some percentage of that 90% that want to stick it out the work might be like, you know what, you have a really good point. I've never considered it that way and now I'm interested in your programming, your coaching, your teaching, your book, your lectures, your workshop or something like that. But imagine in that exact same example that you gave yourself is 00:31:28 hey everybody we should stick it at work stay here till you die you know climb the career corporate ladder to the 90% who already believe that who are you selling to >> yeah it' be the 10% >> the 10% who are not going to listen to you because they're like [laughter] no you're stupid you crazy person right >> yeah you know and and if we're just doing math say if you have a 25% of converting to 10% % that would be two and uh two and a half%. But if you have an opportunity to convert 25% of the 90% 00:32:02 of the people that's a much higher number that is less than 25% [laughter] but is still pretty high number. >> It's 0.9 of 25, you know, whatever that is. >> Yeah. >> We understand now. >> Yes. So, okay. So, fine. And I'm on board with like practicing doing this thing of saying the unpopular opinion, but I every time I record content and I say this thing before I hit post, I chickenen out. Like I get freaked out. I'm like, "Oh my god." >> So So what do I do about that? Like how 00:32:34 do I fix that? >> There's this thing you need to have and you may lack it, friend. >> It's called courage and conviction. You're willing to subjugate your true feelings and thoughts knowing that it will help people for fear of some people not liking it. That's what you use courage for. So when you feel weak in your bones, it's because your body is telling you you're not going to do the right thing. Okay. So let's put this into another context here. Uh I'm I'm sorry this may 00:33:05 make your head pop because we're are having a hard time understanding simple concepts here. [laughter] I'm just favorable, Chris. >> No, no, no. You're You're playing it great. Like, my nose is running, my palms are sweaty, you know? It's like I'm I'm getting ready to get in a fight with somebody here. I'm doing everything I can to control the Hulk. >> Yeah. >> Be Bruce. Be Bruce. Okay, I got this. All right. Let's just say you uh stand for the weak. you you you are against 00:33:31 bullying and you want to be a protector of people and you're out on the street and some crazy person is yelling at someone else who's obviously in a lesser position. They're either smaller, weaker, or of less power and this person turns a verbal assault into a physical assault and you stand there and you just watch. So part of you says, "Ignore it. It's not your problem." Part of you is like, "No, we must get we must intervene. We must do the right thing. We must figure 00:34:01 out what's going on here and put ourselves in harm's way even though the other person is physically stronger or has more power than you. What do you do? What do you do in a situation like this? >> You intervene. You do the right thing." >> Well, does this person intervene? Are you going to intervene? >> I Miy would intervene. >> NO, NOT BACK to you. OH MY GOSH. NITI, [laughter] YOU ARE NOT NITI. You're Tari right now. >> Tawari. >> Stick with Tawari. 00:34:32 >> Ni would be scared. Ni would be a little afraid. >> Right. Right. So what what would Ni do? >> Tap somebody else then. Be like, "Hey, this guy." [clears throat] Yeah. >> I need help. >> So you're saying you wouldn't act? >> Potentially. Yes. Yeah. Because I I >> I just don't know. I mean, what are you saying? No, I mean I I I think I would be afraid of being harmed in the course, you know. >> That's why it requires courage. 00:35:00 >> Courage isn't stepping in the way of somebody smaller than you who has less power than you. Courage is stepping in the way of something where the likelihood of your success is quite low, but you act regardless. >> So, you're saying a lot about your character right now. And you may want to go into your cave and think about who you want to be in this life. A person who is ruled by their convictions has the courage to act upon them. Or a person who speaks about courage convictions but never acts upon them. 00:35:29 That would determine the quality of life that you have. Okay, let's let's draw a curtain. Let's break scene. Let's stop here because I'm about to pop a gasket in my head here. [laughter] It's I didn't know it was going to be this spicy just to start. I'm gonna bring my friend Drigo in here. Drigo, I'm gonna hit mute so you can say things a lot over here. The spice I'm just reading all the comments right now. So, let me see where is the good one here. It was There are a lot of comments 00:35:59 coming in right now, but they're saying this isn't easy, especially going back and forth and for need to stay in character and switching back to, you know, defending herself against Chris. And somebody says, I don't know. I don't know if I'm supposed to learn how to make people angry or how to help and be patient when trying to help. All right, I jump back in here. Dri, I'm gonna bring you back to the background. [laughter] [gasps] All right, we're talking about um the 00:36:29 courage to be disliked as part of a personal brand. And there's a reason why it's number two on the three things that you must master if you want to have a strong personal brand. It's because so many people struggle with this idea of being disliked. And I'm not saying to say things to to hurt people, to make them angry, and to stir up the pot, to be divisive. What I'm saying is to speak your truth. And if it's a strong conviction in your bones, you should say it. If you have a 00:36:58 contrarian approach to something, which I'm going to share with you in a second, then I think you owe it to yourself and to this one shot at life that you have to make your truth known. And if it so happens to be divisive or hurtful to some people, even though your intention is not to do that, that's the consequence. Now, I will say something here. There's a lot of people who use this word personal branding and they talk about this all over Instagram on LinkedIn. And in fact, if you're on 00:37:33 LinkedIn right now, there's a good chance you call yourself a personal branding consultant. I have some issues with this because I have a very different point of view. Now, in my world, in my universe, two truths can be true while not even being the same. Okay? I just want people to understand that that you're obligated and you have a right to your truth and your claim. And I have one, too. And we let other people decide which truth feels more real to them. All right? And so, my truth is that personal branding 00:38:04 isn't about marketing, performance marketing. It's not about conversions and funnels and selling more products and widgets. And so I'm going to summarily dismiss every single person. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when you talk about personal branding as a means to get something to sell products and services. That's called marketing. We already have a beautiful term for it. And and a more descriptive term is performance marketing. Things that you put in are measured against the outputs 00:38:32 that you get. So, when I spend $20 on on a marketing campaign, I want to get more than $20 back. It's called rorowass, return on ad spend. Okay? And so, when you take out a piece of PR, you expect to get a certain number of impressions. And if you if you work with anyone who boosts your post, that's they're all performance-based, and you expect to get something in return. Now, if we want to understand what branding is, branding is how you build a long-term relationship with your your customers or your 00:39:03 audience depending on what you do. And I I saw something that which I saved on my Instagram which made a lot of sense to me. Branding is the reinvestment of capital and resources into building community. I'll give you a classic example. So, if I sell you a book today and you buy the book, that's called a transaction, which I'm hoping many of you will do. And if we don't know each other, I have to make such a strong value proposition to you such that whatever money you think you're going to 00:39:32 spend, you feel like you're going to get more in return. That makes a lot of sense, right? We don't buy things unless we see greater value in what we get than what we give. That's a fundamental tenant to transactions. Whatever it is, it's a car wash, getting your lawn mode, landscaping services, you see greater value in what you get than what you give in money. And uh the odd thing is the person doing that work feels like the money they're getting is greater than the service 00:40:01 they're providing. So this is how the world works. Okay. Now if you happen to have a strong brand, some of you will buy a book from me or others sight unseen. You don't even know what's in the book. There's not clear descriptions because the value that was generated prior to this moment of the ask has been created and a relationship has been built not over days and weeks but over months and years. So I've been in this game in education teaching people for the last 11 years. First video dropped 00:40:30 in YouTube on January 2014. Every once in a while my head pops up and like hey can you support us if we've given you value in this space? would you support us so that we can continue to do this for the many days and weeks and years to come? And some of you are like, "Yeah." And many of you do. Okay. Now, what happens with that money that we bring in? Okay. This is the difference here between a marketer and a person who's trying to build a brand. The money that comes in, what do we do with that 00:40:59 money? I wonder what we do with that money. Well, we spend that money to build greater community activations like the future fest which we did for three days which was a meetup which we spent money to build community and we pay people like Rodrigo and my friend Mo and my buddy uh Rich who produced the podcast and different YouTube content. They get paid to do this so that we can teach you more. And we showed up at Adobe Max and spent a ton of money, charged zero dollars, and ran content for three days straight up and down all 00:41:33 day long, and live streamed it to our audience on YouTube. That's what it means to build community. So, when somebody tells you they're really building a strong brand, ask yourself, what have they reinvested into the community? Now, I gave you a very personal example, but I'm going to give you a corporate one right now. One of the companies that I love the most, it's one of the biggest companies in the world is a company called YouTube, which is a subset of Google, which is a subset 00:41:59 of Alphabet. YouTube has a really strange relationship with the creators. I feel as a large corporation, they actually invest in the community a lot. They used to have these spaces which they paid a lot of money for called creator spaces in in major cities for no other purpose except for to spend money to help you create more content. They pay for advisers and managers once you get to a certain level to teach you and advise you how to build your channel. They look for opportunities for you to do brand deals and to get guests that 00:42:32 are way outside of your um zone of influence. and they host uh e educ and other creator meetups so that people can fly in from out all over the world. They pay for the flight and the hotel and the space to teach you about what's going on to help you connect with one another. And last but not least, they've created a monetization system such that when you create content, for the love of creating content, there's a means for you to make some of that money back. The highest grossing year we've ever had, which is 00:43:02 relatively low compared to other YouTubers, much bigger than us, was somewhere around $360,000 in a single year. No other company that I know of on that scale is invested in the community. So, I think they are brand building. Now, they make a ton of money doing this and they reinvest some of it in us. And I think that's beautiful, right? And other platforms are starting to do the same because they realize one thing. if they don't take care of creators who will be making the content. So that's two examples from a very 00:43:34 individual personal level to a really large corporate level where they spend their money. This is a clue. Okay. When it comes to you building your personal brand and the contrarian point of view is it's not about performance marketing. It's actually less about anything that you do externally. It's more about what you do internally. It's an intrinsic motivation and it's in alignment with your higher self that you learn who you are and you're more able to share the real you to the to the world. And why do 00:44:05 we even need to do that? Because so many of us are showing up as our corporate professional selves, speaking in that corporate speak, wearing the corporate uniform with the suit and tie, saying all the things we're supposed to say. And we've done it so long, we've forgotten who we really are. Right now, people often will clown on me for wearing a cap or these baggy pants or too many necklaces or chains. And you know what? Frankly, I don't give an F cuz I'm not here for them. Or someone 00:44:37 will say, "Ah, Chris, you did this. I'm not a fan of yours anymore." And I think to myself, friend, you were never a fan. Cuz a f a real fan is a ride or die, right? Basically, I'm with you to the end because you've done enough good things that no one thing is going to upset or offset all the good things you've done. So, your friends will look past your small transgressions because they realize who you really are and and what you're trying to do. It's the the sum of 00:45:06 it is greater than the one or two things that they perceive to not be great. So, I'm okay with losing those quote unquote fans. Totally fine. Not for you. And that's all part of being the contrarian. I'll pause here. Nidhi, bring you back into this. >> Yeah, I mean I think that that's a part point of acceptance that you have to just like be willing to accept the fact that you cannot appeal to everybody. Even the most prolific creators um don't have they they even they have people who 00:45:35 are like, "Oh, I don't love their content or they're not exactly my vibe." And like there's New York Times bestselling authors who people will critique the way that they wrote the book, right? Like it's just not possible. So, if you're able to accept that as a reality, it really, really helps. Um, an example I can give is just from last week, I posted something on TikTok and uh, you know, I have a book coming out, so I kind of seed a little bit at the end like pre-order my book. 00:46:00 Well, somebody commented on my post like, I completely disagree with this and if this is what your book is about, then I don't want to buy it. And my thought to them was, okay, that's great. Like, perfect. You would hate my book. You are not the person who's intended to read my book. There are thousands of people, right, that are going to love what you're putting out there, Chris, that's going to love what I'm putting out there, that's going to love what other creators are putting out there. 00:46:21 But there's always going to be a few people, a segment of people that aren't going to love it. And that's absolutely fine. In fact, you want to weed those people out because you want to really focus your energy on the people that are going to resonate with your message and are going to appreciate what you're putting out there. So, I completely agree with everything that you're saying. Um, and I'm looking at the audience questions, too, to see if anybody has any questions or comments on 00:46:45 what we're sharing so far. Uh, somebody's asking, "Which platform would you start to build your brand on?" Um, before you answer that, Chris, though, something you mentioned I think was interesting and is something that people struggle with here on LinkedIn. You'd mentioned how when people are in the corporate world, they kind of wear that corporate hat, like their identity becomes like the company that they're working for. But what you're positing here is that we still need to be 00:47:11 building a personal brand about who we are, what our beliefs are, uh, who we are as a creator outside of that corporate persona that we have. Uh, and I'm curious if y