How To Build A Personal Brand, Not Just a Business Brand Ft. Chris Do (Intimate Conversation)

hey everybody Welcome To The Future on today's episode we're going to talk about personal branding and how that's different white it's relevant and to tie it to many things that you didn't even think were relevant to you we go on a deep dive we explore the spiritual aspect of it we talk about woo am I woo or not and in order for you to find out you'll have to stick around Chris you and I have done this dance multiple times consider this like another layer in the onion okay personal branding is a very very Hot Topic in the social space but also I feel like it's a word that's coming up in the collective Consciousness right now right and everybody feels very strongly about doing it because they see the upside of people that do it really well people like yourself other entrepreneurs celebrities and so forth I see that many of them that are trying to do it and this is no shame on them are missing key components for doing it successfully so I want to start here just to get a lay of the land for people to understand you use the term there's a business brand or a corporate brand and then there's a personal brand just walk me through what does it mean to be a corporate brand and then we'll tackle what does it mean for you to be a personal brand branding and personal branding is super hot right now you can't uh go to a bookstore you can't throw a stone in a circle of people and somebody's not talking about branding or personal branding and branding has been a buzzword for quite some time so there's more familiarity around that term and that and how people use it even still within creative circles the word branding has a lot of misunderstanding people think branding is what what things look like that's a small part of it let's kind of think about it branding is the act of influencing positive associations with your product service organization Marty numm describes it as a person's gut feeling and I think that's pretty good Jeff bzo says it's what people say when you're not in the room so that's your reputation Dr Christine lucer says it is impression management so we take an impression of all those understandings I think we start to understand that branding cannot be just what it looks like because what it looks like is very superficial there's what it does do it perform as as promise it's there's the after service like after the sale what happens there's the culture of the company because you can make a great product provide a great solution to people but anytime they run into anybody from the company they all like they act like jerks or a-holes then that's the brand and that's why the late Tony Shay says in his book delivering happiness forget brand get the culture right when you get the culture right the brand follows there's a lot of Truth to that because brand emanates from within now in the corporate space what people have tried to do in the last I I think about 50 or so years is to influence via advertising the impression or the associations that people have with them and for a period of time they can do this because there were mostly there's three major networks a few newspapers and a couple of magazines and through the distribution and repetition of message ingrained within us from the moment we can Rec cognizant like say for example Coca-Cola refreshing the world so to speak have a cocon a smile then we start to associate those ideas together but something wonderful has happened in the early 2000s something called social media social media for the first time is a a platform where we can have consumer to Consumer peer-to-peer conversations at scale and leverage our ability to network together and take away the power from the media companies and there's been a seismic paradigm shift that's happened this why advertising has been in trouble for the last 20 plus years and it's eroding what do companies do now if you can't control it now you actually have to live up to the promises that you've made but here's the mistake that people make they have a lot of examples of what Nike is doing how Apple markets and how they build a brand or say the Four Seasons we see that and we're like oh we will do that and so what we're doing is we're copying what we have perceived as what branding large brands do which is making advertising we say like well I have a following I put out a lot of content therefore I have a personal brand brand you you have a personal brand for sure but it's not what the one that you think of because all you have to do is say what do we think of these names Donald Trump Jeff Bezos Elon Musk bernee Brown Simon cynic Gary vaynerchuk and our association our opinions about them if there's enough of us is really the brand and not what they say it is and not what they pretend it to be when it's in congruous with what they say and do with our perceptions of what they say and do then we think oh my gosh you're so inauthentic and now we have the rise of the personal brand right in the search for authenticity Brands big Brands corporate brands are in business and we have to remember that they're in business to do what to sell more products and services at a higher price to more people and to be able to dominate the market so they're looking at this as more of a transactional play so this was where a term you're you're going to want to write down if you're unfamiliar with it it's called Performance Marketing or direct to Consumer Performance Marketing and we understand that when you get a flyer in the mail then not really trying to build rapport with you they're trying to sell you something that's direct marketing and if you look at ads that are being run on Facebook on Instagram or on Tik Tok they're demo demoing a product or something like that they want you to buy it and so we as humans are now saying well that's what I want I I want to make a living too and so we emulate what they're doing and this is really where it's problematic because what Performance Marketing direct marketing is doing it's pushing people away believe it or not we will take your money we're not really in it for the long term with you because we need the money right now so don't get me wrong Performance Marketing is good for short-term Revenue but it comes at the cost of long-term brand value we just need to remember this and let's do a quick test reflect on the campaigns that are popping up in your social feeds the things that interrupt you while you're watching a YouTube video do you have positive associations with these companies or do you have negative ones even companies that you love CU I love a lot of companies when they keep marketing to me when I'm not in a state to buy it's really annoying it's incessant actually and I I always joke around I say I'm the world's best consumer because I'll buy anything I'll sign up for all your programs I'm one of the rare people who will fill out the surveys afterward and give you a five-star review I'm your guy I actively sign up for campaigns mostly because I'm curious but I hope that they treat me with respect and value what it is that I do but what do they do Mo what they do is they are just bombing carpet bombing actually in my inbox all the time last chance New Deals just for you I'm like how's this just for me this is all women's clothing are you guys even paying attention to me I've given you permission to Market to me and all you do is you've abused it with generic not specific not tailored and unwanted marketing so now my my feeling is like I'm a half click away from unsubscribing and saying I'm done with you I'm going to move on to next component that wants to support me in this way so we definitely don't want to follow those those techniques that are being used by large companies because hey we're not a large company and the irony of ironies is this is that the large companies are trying to be more personal they're trying to sound like a real human they can't because it's a team of strategist marketers attorneys copywriters art directors trying to like shape a message and make sure it runs by HR and to make sure that it's it's hitting the key demos you see so it's like a big group think trying to communicate something and it's coming across so many touch points because they communicate at volume so think about it like Does Nike have one copywriter clearly they don't they have hundreds maybe thousands of copywriters dealing with national Regional and and web campaigns they're doing this all the time non-stop how is it that unless it's like a beehive how could The Hive be able to write in a consistent voice with a singular philosophy or focus inste of values they can't because humans are humans and we have our own biases we have different interpretations of things so even if you and I were looking at an orange painting you're like that's not orange bro I'm like what do you mean you're like it's tangerine and someone else walks over and Taps us on the shoulders it's like you guys must be color blind it's gold no no it's pmen we're all looking exactly the same thing as simple as a orange painting and we can't even agree so how can we agree who the heck we are don't make this mistake if you're a human being and you're emulating the steps of large corporations you're already shooting yourself in the foot because it's going to be a situation where the dog chases its tail you want to act like big corporations corporations want to act like people so you're just like going in this weird Circle just stop and you're already there where you're supposed to be instead of going like this back to here just stay there that's where you're supposed to be to lean into who you are I literally have Goosebumps around this conversation because I think this is the first time I've heard you say it like this and I want to Spotlight it corporations are trying to be human you're trying to be a big Corporation you already have the upside of not being a big Corporation to succeed as a personal brand and on top of that I think this stems from the syndrome of like the grass is greener on the other side right people are not present in what they have people are looking at what they could be what they want to be and they forget that there's a huge gap like someone like myself who has a small business a small personal brand if I try to even emulate what Nike is doing at the scale that they're doing I might like an ad that they pulled off or a campaign that they pulled off but one resources two Capital three it's going to look like you said in congruent so I really want the people that are listening to Spotlight this what you're chasing is opposite of what you can do I don't think the is the case of grass is greener I think this is the case of you are dumber than you think you are okay I tell you what it looks like let me illustrate this for you everybody imagine this imagine you're a monkey and you have a hammer in your hand and you're afraid of snakes and you see something on the ground and you think it's a snake you know what that is it's your tail and you smash it with a hammer and they're like oh my God that hurts and that's what you're doing because you're not a student of branding and that's okay because Professor D is in the house with Mr M and this is what we're going to do we're going to help you with this okay we're going to help you with this so I am a student of the game I study advertising I study branding and I don't just study like I look at and read a book I'm like really saying what's happening emotionally to me right now why am I acting so irrationally why am I going to bat for this company why am I you know when people are like um yeah I use um a Google pixel or a Samsung Galaxy and my immediate reactions we can't be friends now can we that's a fact you heard me say this right forget about it I'm not I'm not interested in talking to you because I'm a design snob and I say my world revolves around a few companies and Apple's one of them I will happily admit I'm an apple Fanboy a less nice term is an apple nut hugger so they have an emotional hook on me and there's a real reason why we can explore it is I was mentioning to our mutual friend hrio that I'm going to write a post and the post is going to be Nike doesn't sell shoes like what the f kind of click bait is is Nike does not sell shoes and you are not buying shoes they make shoes they're not selling shoes they're selling an idea they're selling an opportunity for you to enroll in a tribe of like-minded people and Marty newer writes about this in his book brand flip is that people don't buy products they join tribes it used to be that the companies own Brands now consumers own the brand because it's what we say it is what is it that Nike is really selling then so they're selling this idea and I'm ready to be challenged on this but I haven't heard a better explanation so here I go what Nike is selling to you is this idea that within all of us is the heart of a champion that we are all capable of more than what we give ourselves credit and that we can tap into human achievement it's embodied by these modern day Gladiators Serena Williams Michael Jordan LeBron James Roger Federer because they've achieve the top of their game and they're not telling you by wearing these shoes or putting on these goggles that you can be Michael Phelps it doesn't work like that but what they're saying is that these were all just human beings just like you and me and whether you're 255 pounds or you're 105 pound soaking wet within all of us there's potential for human greatness and that's why we wear the Nike badge and I take it back and I was talking to Rodrigo about this like do you know some of the earliest uses of brand and design it's in war let's think about it we are neighboring tribes and we're not friends we're bitter Rivals so what we do is we have skirmishes and then we enter into war how do my people know that we're not killing our own people because clearly when there's thousands of people on the field we don't know who we're killing yeah now traditional warfar is we Face a Direction so if you're facing the wrong direction you're going to get stabbed right and there are things that you can tell let's talk about it your suit of armor so in the old days it would be leather and then you'd go up to chain mail and then plate mail and all kinds of armor right well the design of our armor is going to be different than your armor the suit that you wear and think about it the shirt that you wear from Nike looks different than the shirt you wear from AAS and then what did they do they're like boys and they hit the drum bum bum bum bum and we're going to start marching right and then they yell raise the banners and there are people's jobs and all they're doing they're going to get killed on the field because they have no weapon they're holding a staff with a flag the flag has certain colors it has a certain shape and then we wear the shape and the colors too so that we know we are a tribe and we're literally at war with the other tribe okay now fast forward a couple thousand years what is our tribe so when you're walking down the street with your iPhone whatever and somebody's walking by with their Android phone you're like no you're that tribe yeah right just like you go to the steakhouse you're I'm part of this tribe I'm part of the carnivores club and the vegans walk by and like oh you're a barbarian and they're righteously indignant about you eating something with a with a face so we're we're kind of not in a physical War but we're signaling to people all the time who we are what our values are and we want to be around people who are like us because to be ostracized within a social network is almost certain Doom there's safety numbers there is community there's connection there's a sense of belonging sense of status is your physical and emotional well-being can be heavily influenced by the people that you're around especially if you feel really isolated you know the people who who are serial killers well I've seen a couple of portraits and they're all hot right now in documentaries right the one thing that you can find that's pretty common with them is a sense of isolation they just whether they are literally isolated or not they feel this way and it's a dangerous state to be in for all of us because this human existence I think is is really tough when you feel like you're the only person and what you do doesn't matter you know Irwin mcmanis I saw him speak he's a pastor and he runs a mega church here in Hollywood and called Mosaic is very non-traditional and I'd heard about him but I don't know anything about him he was just I I think he had something prepared but it felt like he was just pulling from The Ether tapping into a higher source you would expect that from a pastor and he tells his story he Sayes there's uh I I hope I'm not butchering this I'll look it up after the fact but a bunch of Japanese scientists were studying the phenomenon of language and voice and power because he was talking a lot about voice so he says they took three Vats of cooked rice and with one vat a bunch of monks came by and they would yell or shout positive affirmations and they cooked rice fermented and and turned into wine and then a different set of monks would come in and yell negative critical thoughts to a jar of rice and that thing rotted and then there was a third jar of rice R where they did nothing that was their control do you know what happened to that jar of rice it grew mold just like the second one where it was yelled at but it grew mold twice as fast so it turns out it's best to be praised it's horribly be criticized but the worst possible thing is to be ignored that you don't matter that's a terribly dark place and I found that story to be super powerful this is a sparking my psych nerd so we're going to take a little detour here before I go into the question that I want to ask for those of you that want to read peer-reviewed journals there's everything that Chris is saying is backed up by Scholars bow meister and ly back in 95 they coined the term social belongingness and in the past during the caveman days and the Roman Empires and all these kind of things it's like the only reason why we've been able to succeed as a species compared to any other species is because of our ability to create groups and in those groups certain people have certain functions that empower the people that don't know that particular function so if I'm good at farming I'm part of this group while somebody else is a hunter while somebody else is a cook whatever that may be it's interesting that what they found is the lack of social belongingness that feeling of ostracism and isolation literally the feeling physically is the equivalent of getting like punched or like physical pain so what I'm hearing these themes that I'm hearing from you is because we've evolved as a society right and there are definitely certain areas in the country that are still very much struggling cut in the in the globe so I'm not diminishing that but in a capitalistic Society like the United States where there's a lot of privilege we're finding social belongingness through this sense of branding because I was in Egypt for 7even months and it's really interesting how only the super upper echelon even cared about branding right but in the states it's like every little thing is a brand from the ketchup to the garbage bag to the clothing like in Egypt it's like this is is a garbage bag it's not a heavyduty lemon scented like it doesn't matter I'm just going to grab a garbage bag right but the people that are up there who have that means who have that privilege are very focused on like okay I'm gonna buy this particular thing because one I can afford it and two it signals to the world that I am someone with discretionary income whatever it may be so I find it interesting that we're seeking this concept of social belongingness through the clothes we wear like you through the merchandise that you buy through the technology that you buy cuz we're constantly craving it to feel like we belong to feel like we're a part of something bigger what I'm troubled with about this like Resurgence of personal branding is the people that are doing it wrong and the people that fall for it are getting hurt because of it in my opinion and you see it up and down in the coaching space you see it up and down in the marketing space particularly digital marketing so I want to Circle back to something that you said earlier where you said transactional is Performance Marketing where the goal is to get people to buy right sales sales sales sales sales sales sales sales I feel like your experience with those that do that is off-putting for you because you are a brand snob because I see these same companies making a lot of freaking money having a tremendous amount of business success so one could argue that if as the business is elevating they're getting more Capital they can allocate those resources to improving The Branding if they don't know how to do it just yet what are your thoughts about that pocket where it's like well Chris we got to make money you know what I'm saying we gotta we got to build revenue this branding thing is super nice it sounds kind of esoteric right it sounds a little woo woo right it's a long-term play we'll get there what do you tell those folks what do you tell those businesses and what's your response to that because I think you are a brand snob just saying I I take umbrage with that term that you use on me calling me a brand snob I just want to put it out there I'm just a snob period you don't have to have to we brand yeah let's kind of unpack a bunch of things because I'm sure the whoever's watching or listening to this later they're sitting there like I'm not convinced I'm not convinced about what you're saying Chris it's not true this idea that being ignored is like the worst thing that could happen I'm going to share something with you that I learned from my family therapist so my children at that point are pretty young my oldest is going through a pretty rough time he skipped the terrible twos I think he he rolled into the Fearsome four so when he was four and more articulate he was having these tantrums that were just uncontrollable screaming crying fast where he was throwing things around it was just a horrible thing and I was feeling slowly I was losing influence over my own child and it was impacting my relationship with my wife because I think I'm a bad parent now I'm having dark thoughts about my own children like I just want to smack you right now because I'm losing patience and I don't know and I'm dragged into these drawn out fights between him and my wife that they both are so so drawn in in the sand that they cannot move from their position simple acts of us going out to eat or doing simple simple things became traumatic ordeals so I do what most people do in my situation I cried for help I went to find help and I want to put a flag in the ground so that people can follow the Clues here okay is that often times when you're stuck in your life and you're building your brand or your business your you can't get to sale whatever's happening you just need to know help is around the corner you have to be willing to ask for it to seek it out to be able to articulate what you're looking for and then to put in the work so I found a family therapist right away and I went to Joan and I said hey I got this problem I just feel like I'm not going to be a good father and I'm just doing everything that I can not to become old school Asian father and just whip my children because I don't believe that's necessary unless it's necessary and it's not necessary right now and she explained something to me she explained a couple different concepts to me and I think are not just powerful but they're transformative and I'm going to share it with you right now dear audience I'm going to share it with you right now she says that children when they act up crave attention they prefer positive attention but they'll take negative attention and I was sit there thinking that cannot be true no child wants to be yelled at and reprimanded and argued with I'm like this cannot be true I know I want to receive positive attention but negative attention so she says the best way to resolve this is to starve them of the attention because what they're doing is they're seeing if I behave this way I will get what I want not the outcome that I want but the attention that I want so then she told me the next time he acts up I want you to say this and you know what I went to the room and did exactly as I was told cuz I'm a really good student I didn't try to improvise I didn't try to like flip it I'm like I just came in there like I don't know if this is going to work but I'm going to do it exactly as I'm instructed because if if it doesn't work at least I can go back to Joan and say Joan I did exactly what you said this is a bunch of BS this doesn't work tell me what really works now but to my surprise I did exactly what she said and it stopped and it didn't stop like in five tries it stopped in one try this is like you know one of those movies I forget which one it is but like say you're a sharpshooter and you're like a mile and a half away from Target and you shoot through a car window through a bus through like between somebody doing uh Jumping Jacks and eventually it just hits a target one shot and there's a little bit of smoke and a little bit of recoil from the gun that's what she did she gave me that bullet one shot and that was it and if you guys want to know what she told me to do that's a story for another day the time when I tease you you're like no why would you do that to us why why no I'll tell you guys all right as you're probably like spitting coffee or your your beverage of choice out at the screen I don't want to do that to you I will tell you I will share what I spent money to learn with you because that's in the spirit of generosity because I'm I I want to build an emotional connection with you I don't want to make this transactional see what I'm doing here there's a lot of metal layers to pull back you know what hold on before he says anything because he doesn't ask usually all right because he's sharing this and we're not putting another press the Subscribe button all right that's what we want right now we want you to press the Subscribe button so you can get what he paid for phot to free I'm going to do my part okay cuz this is the idea of reciprocity I know you're going to like comment and subscribe so I'm going to assume you've done so I'm GNA I'm GNA lead with with generosity here here's what she told me to do she just walk in the room well before she did that let me tell you what she really said she goes why why are you checking it on your son I said because I hear the yelling the screaming and it hurts my soul as a father I just want to take care of my children I love my children I love them more than my own life I would lay down my life in an instant so you're checking in on them because you care about them okay here's what you do she says say this exact thing like you can just look at your watch okay today's Tuesday it's going to happen and then boom two days later explosion over things I don't even know about all I hear is crying and yelling and screaming and then a slam in the door Bo boom it happens just like that every single time and I look at my wife she's like fuming I'm like I got this pop the collar I got this babe so I go in there I knock on the door three knocks and I open that's the standard do household protocol with your you're a child or an adult I'm going to knock to warn you he's yelling he's screaming and you know he would say very violent things to me he would say things like I don't love you get out of here I hate you and that hurt me I know he's a child and I know I'm an adult and he he doesn't mean any of this he's just acting very emotionally but I could feel it it's like daggers stabbing into me and I'm trying my best not to react so I go in there I know it's going to happen I and I stop him he said hey buddy I heard you crying from downstairs I came in and check in on you because I care about you I see that you're upset I'm going to leave in 2 seconds I think you're okay and if you want to talk just come find me I just walk out the door so what do we what what what has happened here what has happened here and I I went downstairs I could still hear him screaming and yelling and then I sat down on the couch like reading my book or magazine and then 10 seconds n seconds 3 seconds done door opens up you kind of gingerly steps out looking around no one's yelling at him no one's chasing after him he walks downstairs and he pretends like nothing has happened and that was the last time he did that okay so number one you led from a place of accountability for yourself right you said I want to check in on you you didn't lead with like what are you doing you you you so there's a lot of helpful communication non-violent Communication number two you gave him autonomy to choose which I think I think that's brilliant and if we're connecting it to branding when you said earlier people decide what you are as a brand not what you forced them into believing you gave him that choice of like okay you can continue like this I'm here if you want to come so I love that and number three I think what you did is acknowledge his whether you want to call it a wound of not getting attention by saying I care about you that's why I'm coming in here that's my actual reason and then the last thing is you gave him his space to process what was going on that's what I understood from all of that yeah I think you're missing one critical comp of course I am but it is a really critical component here and once you understand this then you can see like whoa okay so what I'm doing is I'm acknowledging he's going through something I'm expressing that I care and I Rob him of his ability to tell me to go away because I said I'm leaving and that was the critical part because in his mind he's like I want you to leave now some to say really nasty things to get you to leave because no parents going to sit there and have their child scream and yell horrible things at them right so I came in I said hey I see that you're upset want to make sure you're okay it looks like you're okay so I'm going to leave I'll be downstairs if you want to talk so I'm giving him Grace there's no accusations the critical part is I'm going to ignore you you cannot push me away so I'm starving him of exactly what he wanted which was for someone to go in there and either appease him praise him or criticize him and in the past I would say oh so why are you doing this let's have a talk you know how mom is and he doesn't want to hear any of that and you know were you in the right here were you in the wrong they don't want to hear that and that's why they're going to say negative things to drive you out and then you'll argue with them even more and that's what they want subconsciously it's what they want they just want your attention and so I left and that ended that now there other Ninja level Nanny Master trickery that she taught me I was like Wow does this work in real life well okay for those of you that are watching that are single or don't have children like I don't know how to test this well I'm going to give you one more thing and we're going to move on I'm going to answer the questions I Mo brought up which is this you know when you get into dispute with your partner they can yell at you they can praise you but you know what's worst of all they give you the old silent treatment like you exist but you don't exist they walk past you they don't acknowledge you you say something they don't say anything back and that's one form of withholding love is to ignore you now I personally don't prescribe to that way of Behaving some people do but I'm let letting you know how powerful it is to be ignored and that's going to take us home to this point the cooked rice so we would love to be praised when we make content online be showered with agulation likes engagement sharing virality followers all that kind of stuff we're a little nervous about getting yelled at by trolls canceling us scolding us judging us but what we don't want is for no one to care because when people complain to me there are a couple of people in their comments saying nasty things I said you should be so fortunate they're like what why would I be fortunate for people hating on me right now well let me ask you what if no one responded there goes back to that thing okay let's go into the next part here this idea of like in different countries we have the privilege of worrying about identity well when we don't have our basic needs met let's get into Abraham maso's hierarchy of needs at the very bottom of our physiological needs food Water Shelter clothing without that we cannot survive so clearly if you're huddled up in a cave somewhere and bombs are being dropped overhead you're not sitting there thinking who am I what makes me me what do I care about brands for because you're just thinking where do I go to the bathroom how to get clean water and how will I be alive tomorrow so that's clear right we don't have the luxury of thinking about our own existence because we're just trying to survive 90 to 100% of our physiological mental kind of processing power is spent on staying alive rationing food all the kinds of things trying to bake a fire staying warm protecting cells from dangerous animals and poisonous creatures that's what it should be as we Ascend Mel's hierarchy of needs you get into belonging connectedness and then you get into relationships and things like that but at the very top is this thing it's called self-actualization which is a really complicated way to say something like to achieve your human potential and what does that even mean so I just look at the top of the pyramid is something called identity who am I and that's a question you're going to be asking yourself until you die who am I now I think the spiritual leaders the gurus the shamans the the medicine witch doctors they have figured out who they are and it's a very attractive thing we're drawn to them because they seem so calm stoic they're comfortable in their own skin when everyone else is running around like kind of trying to scratch off their layer of skin because they just don't like themselves these people are magnetic they draw them draw others to them unfortunately sometimes these people are aware of this and they turn into con artists they they turn into religious leaders for and they leverage this Charisma for the wrong reasons to start Holy Wars they become politicians who are for ill-gotten gains we're trying to be enlightened comfortable in our own skin but not to manipulate others for our own good and this runs into a lot of challenges for me personally because it doesn't align with my set of values you say it sounds a little woo woo Chris I want to make money right now I'm the least woo person you're ever going to meet I really am all you have to do spend a little time talking to my wife you know whenever I'm like I got to go to work and she's like what do you mean oh you're so stuck by physical reality I'm like babe I live in physical reality I don't know about you but you know when when the bill collectors come I'm telling you they're not traveling on the astral plane I can't cash woo checks right now I got to be in the physical reality so I'm a very pragmatic practical person it doesn't mean I'm closed-minded about the things that we can't understand or process I'm very open to that but not to the point of absurdity where I'm like that's your explanation the more logical explanation is to why you missed the bus was because you got up late and you didn't prepare it's not because some Universal forces aligned to not allow you to get in the us the simplest most obvious explanation is usually the correct one let's get back into it what are we all doing right now I think we're all selling something all the time maybe I'm selling you on the idea that I'm not selling you and that in itself is a sale and other people are much more clear and transparent and they're thinking on a much shorter time frame I'm not going to lie to all of you I'm selling you something too it just exists on a much longer time frame so when we think about transactional we think about right now quit proquo quit proquo I tell you things you tell me things you give me something I do something you give me something I do something and it's over think about all your deepest friendships the ones that you've had since childhood if you're so lucky or maybe in your adult life you've come to hang out with some peers or work friends and you have a deep deep connection you travel together if you need help they're they're there to pick you up the airport they'll help you pack they'll do whatever and you will do the same for them you could say that's TR actional but it's existing on a much much longer time frame so somewhere along the way you and Bobby became friends and Bobby was being picked on and you stepped in to say hey if you're going to have to fight Bob you're going to have to fight me too and why did you do that because you care about people but also because they safety numbers cuz maybe you think one day I'm going to need Bobby to be there in my corner too they're safety numbers right apart we're not so strong together we're much stronger and then one day you're testing the friendship and somebody tries to do something to you and Bobby does not Step Up so what it is is you made a promise to each other and Bobby broke the promise so you're not going to develop deep relationship with Bobby if you're smart sadly a lot of us exist in a space where oh it's okay Bobby doesn't have to do that it's okay you know who might expect these kinds of things we don't have that same level of self- Lov self-awareness and self-confidence so we we make excuses for the other person not holding up their end at the bargain like we're in some part of Covenant you know the Covenant of the Rings we're all going to go to the mountain and we're going to try to destroy this ring together we're all trying to move together in the in the school of life and things will happen are we there for each other or not okay so when you buy widget from company X there's no Covenant the Covenant is I'm going to swipe my credit card you take my money and you ship me the product undamaged the way you you said you're going to and the Covenant tomorrow when said company is needing money because uh they're going to go bankrupt and they say well everybody who loves our products please buy something you may or may not feel compelled to do that you might you might not I don't know let's let's change the scenario a little bit let's say there's a local coffee shop and you know the owners it's Becky and Bob and they're older couple and they've lived in the neighborhood they're multigenerational in the neighborhood and you know what their coffee ain't that great their their Decor isn't that great their coffee cost a little bit more than the local Mass market chain but you feeling like you need to support people in the community and local businesses you walk past three chains and you go and you give your money to Bobby and Becky and they greet You by name they're like hey Mo hi Chris usual today oh you have some new friends is this your mom and dad oh hi oh where you guys from so what they're doing is they're building connection with you so when I told you earlier Nike doesn't sell shoes they're selling an idea and so Bobby and Becky don't explicitly Say by shopping here you are supporting local communities and our business it's implied it's implicit and they know that okay because they want to keep the money in the neighborhood this is very very important because it's the only fight that you guys can fight against in terms of mass Market chains coming in and taking over where the money is spent elsewhere they're not keeping in the neighborhood there's a relationship and you're building something over a longer period of time if you do that consistently enough you start to have genuine emotional connection you start to have something called a brand so yeah what what what is the future selling to you whether you're listening to this on a podcast or you're watching this on a YouTube or or maybe behind a payall I don't know what what what are we selling to you and I'm G to pause here I'm gonna ask Mo this question because everybody's selling something what do you think the future is selling to you I think simply you're selling education that isn't uh debt inducing but as a result of that education you're equipping people to kind of achieve the lifestyle that they want via what they know how to do I think that's that's my understanding of it so when you say you're selling education give me a little bit clear like paint a clear picture because it sounds so so abstract what do what do you really think we're selling I think once a person is more educated whether that's a specific skill set or mindset or technique they become empowered and from that level of empowerment they are able to then level up in their life whether that's making more money becoming a more personally developed person so not to sound corny but I think you are selling the the journey to self-actualization through education around a specific business a specific skill set a specific software this what we're doing that's what I believe you're selling and especially based on how you move as the future as a brand that's what I think yourself okay you answer that question perfectly you spoke about that in in a way that I think only you can and that's what I like about you it's like there's an academic scholarly side there's Mo the hip-hop artist there's Mo who's my friend there's Mo who helps us with content and as Mo the student of like a student of life right so no one buys education Mo I mean I don't know who likes education they like what education does for them right we're not going there to to to because we love paying tuition that's not why we want something much deeper and you you will start to understand the things that motivate people I think there's only a handful of things the core motivations like belonging what we're really selling here is empowerment so what we do is we show up every single day we we write a piece of content we record a video to empower you with information so that you can achieve your potential your self-actualization whatever that might mean to you and we do this mostly for free and somebody's going to argue well it's not totally for free I'm like yeah you're getting really technical you're missing the point friend then the reason why they could say that is because YouTube gives us a couple of pennies for every view that we we get but it's not enough to sustain this operation it's not enough to pay me what I'm worth in the free market forget about like all the other people have to be involved like Mo andrigo and Mo's team doing the thumbnails and the editing and the graphics and explainer animations that you're doing people need to get paid to do that and so what we're getting paid from social platforms is a pittance compared to like what we can do in the corporate Market it would be a tiny fraction of what we could get if we just dated every piece of content you all know this you're here because of this so if you're listening to this on a podcast what is it we're selling well and what is it that you're buying okay so there are promises made remember I said it's all promises right I make a promise to you you promise back something to me I promise to you I be as transparent as possible and to tell you about the highs and the lows that I will do my best to draw the very best from people when they're here as a guest that if I learn something new I will tell you what I'm learning as I'm learning it and to give you the full disclosure I will do my best to honor and cite the references of the people that I can recall if I can do that and do it consistently enough over time where you learn through me then your promise is I'll keep watching I'll keep listening and if you want to go deeper in that promise you you say to yourself I promise to tell more people because that helps you with your goal we help each other and then when there's a product or a community where you feel so inclined to do so at your own free will not through some pressure tactic or we me withholding stuff you say well I'll buy that I don't even need that and I'll buy it I'll join your group and I'm not even show up it doesn't matter because just like that coffee shop from Bobby and Becky I want to make sure people like you are still around and I'll tell you what hurts me a little bit here there's a quote from from ANA laap the dollars you spend is a vote for the world you want to live in okay so when you frequent the chains you're like I would like more chains I would like more faceless corporations that come into neighborhoods compete in unfair ways against local owners because you have buying power you can hire staff and you can do all kinds of weird stuff that a local business owner can't they can open earlier close later they can have cleaner looking uniforms and branding they can market and advertise they have more resources or you can say you know what the coffeine is good cost a little bit more but you know what this aligns with who I am and I'm not here to judge you what I'm saying is be conscious that every dollar is a vote what kind of world do you want to live in so I put this out to you and this hurts me when people literally say this to me in comments I love what you do you've helped me to make so much money and they literally will tell me how much sometimes a few thousand bucks sometimes it'll be tens of thousands of dollars and you know what they'll do this is the ultimate insult to me we just bought X and yz's course and it's terrible it's not even as good as your free stuff when I'm sitting there thinking what am I am I dog trash Mo we show up to support you to help you to give you the tools I read lots of books I talk to amazing influential super smart people and as soon as I learned something you know what I do I run back to the community it's like you guys you know you know I just learned this happened behind a closed door that would cost thousands of dollars to get into and I just shared it with you they're thinking well Chris gave it to us for free we don't pay for free things but perhaps in the 21st century 21st century the new economy is really about generosity and we can move away we can be post-transaction let's get into this let's get into this because this always this I have a very close relationship with you like I have a privilege to see behind closed doors hear about the business I'm part of the business with you as far as our role as content team I want to talk about when someone is on this journey like you which you've been in the game now publicly right on social for about 10 years before that 20 years in advertising like there's a breath of knowledge and I consider you the best at it whether you're the most known that's not the point I know and this is not like biased well maybe it is a little biased you're the best at it if someone is on the same Journey as you and you're seeing that you're giving so much generously that you are not asking for anything in return like there's a real true sense of altruism and a belief in reciprocity from you and that's not happening from the other side as you just mentioned they're going in buying another course they're going and hiring someone else for their talk they're whatever and it's negatively affecting your business I'm not saying it's negatively affecting your business I'm just saying that person it ends up negatively affecting their business and then it affects them psychologically they're like [ __ ] like what else do I got to do it's like I'm making the content I'm giving things for free I'm marketing ethically I'm I'm I'm direct to Consumer transaction when it's appropriate just like the coffee house and I'm not receiving that Transaction what does a person do how do they pivot they believe in The Branding they believe in the long game they're doing the right things just like you are but it's not yielding the results that they want and they're so committed to playing the long-term game but they're not seeing that short-term win to sustain it what do they do what do they need to hear right now I'm going to answer this in the only way I can which is from my perspective and I want to give a couple caveats here I'm in the game because I love to teach I think my higher calling my purpose once I figured it out is to teach and to teach in ways that only I can do that's all I'm trying to just help people connect with their values and to get them to be cognizant of their behaviors as it pertains to the kind of world they want to live in this is where you're going to pin me down to the woo I already know it I set myself up for a trap I believe in this I believe in this idea that Jose shared with me called karmic Equity I've always believed in karma but he gave it a term which really helped me to understand it better that when I was a young person I was doing good because it felt good to do good we understand that there's a lot of Science and studies behind this but you know what I think your physical being changes when you have this mindset I've tried this Theory before and i' I I'm still trying to find evidence if it's not true anecdotally speaking when you look at people and you look at their face you're like that's a kind person that's a generous person that's a thoughtful person and you look at some people's faces that is a selfish person that person person is out to take advantage of you and you can see it in her face and I just wonder does the face betray the mind or does the Mind betray the face I'm not quite sure what's happening here do you know what I mean you can look at some people and you're like that person is a Shyer they're going to snake me and then there's other people you're like you know what that person's all right I feel pretty safe now unfortunately though sociopaths Psychopaths know how to cuz they're convinced what they're doing is good that their face looks really trustworthy so just be mindful that okay there's a rare percentage of people who can actually manipulate this because I believe they believe it themselves but so this is this idea of Karma and karmic Equity that the more good that you do in life the more opportunities just appear before you not on a onetoone not on a timeline that you can predict but here I am I'm making videos now we're we're we're on our 10th year of making content and every day new opportunities appear to me I'm like what did I do to deserve any of this I don't even get it so for me that's my reward and I'm in a very financially secure place you would call it privilege an earned privilege I want to put out there that I'm okay and it makes me feel better to know that people who are less okay have at least a couple more tools that they can use to grow in their life and their business to have stronger personal relationships to be a better parent whatever it is if I have it and you want it I'm going to just teach it that's my gift and Gifts have to be given right so you have a present there's no point for you to hold a present in order for you to receive the joy of a gift you got to give it to somebody I feel like this evolved into really like kind of a spiritual psychological mindset discussion so I'm going to do my best here to share what I learned and you bridge the gap on anything we'll end with one question and I want you to answer it very simply and concisely but if you've made it to the end thank you for your time and attention I'm going to ask versus Chris because he usually doesn't because of how generous he is Chris Woo doesn't ask so uh Modo is going to ask if you found value in this and you've been following this series of what is now the third video around developing the importance and how to actually navigate a successful personal brand I ask you to look into something called the future PR Group which is a community of creative entrepreneurs that are trying to level up to go from zero to a 100,000 business fundamentals marketing fundamentals sales fundamentals and also getting that sense of belongingness as a community I was a PR group member I still am a PR group member and I can tell you from just being a member and now my one-on-one with Chris and his mentorship and friendship my business went from being a $100,000 business to being a half million doll business directly from his mentorship and I do not say that lightly this man has absolutely changed my life both spiritually both mentally and professionally I'm not someone that any time says you should do something I don't believe in that language but I encourage you I invite you to visit the website that will be in the the description below or it's going to show up in the info box and just learn about it there's no harm in stepping in and taking that leap it will absolutely transform your life okay that's the pitch that's what I got let's move on to the recap so for someone to build a successful personal brand Chris this is what I learned bridge the gap at the end number one you have to understand where you are as a professional as a person on the maso's hierarchy of needs if you are someone who is needing things to survive it may not be feasible for you to play this long game right now do it mentally do it spiritually but focus on building the business and driving Revenue number two some of the elements that are important is know what kind of business you are if you were a small person a small business sorry a solopreneur focus on the things that big corporations can't do which is The Human Side this is showing a level of vulnerability building connection um really dialing in the customer experience as far as far as like communication transparency showing up because a lot of these big corporations like the Nikes like the Amazon like the Adidas right can't do what you do so you are that small coffee shop and then the last thing and this is what I got from you Chris is there has to be a level of intentionality and consistency and resolve in this decision of yours to build a brand because it is a long game it is a delayed gratification game where you're not going to see as much transactional results as fast as possible as you would like to so you have to have a tremendous amount of resolve in doing this and of course be smart in incorporating transactions effectively so that law of reciprocity kicks in my last question is for those that are still rocking with us what is the first step that they need to just commit to if it's something as small as writing in a journal I'd love for you to say that try to answer it as concisely as possible to push themselves in the right direction of adopting this transformational personal brand building Endeavor in their business okay before we move forward we must look to the past we have to understand where you came from and the cultural currency that you inherited what I'm talking about is figuring out your origin story where were you born who are your parents who are your early mentors in life and they often offer you many Clues as to who you really are I think in the process of growing up we forget because we we socialize and we we kind of conform to what's going on that a lot of that gets plastered over so I'm talking about from the earliest memory usually it's around 2 to 3 years old to about 7 years old who you are and who you are has already been formed go back there there's treasure there to figure it out and get in touch with that and once you figure that part out we'll take you to the next step if you found value in this and this recap in this entire what is now I believe a 1 and a half hour session that you have gotten highly encourage you again to visit the description the link for the future PR group to both support yourself in your career and support the future so we can keep doing what we're doing until next time we'll see you in the future peace