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Best Selling Author & Communication Expert Erwin McManus Teaches How To Identify Your Avatar
Bestselling author Erwin McManus joins Chris Do to reveal his framework for mastering authentic communication and human connection.
Chris Do
Founder, The Futur™ · August 1, 2024
Beneath the Words, a Hidden Current
There is a language beneath language. It is a current of intent, emotion, and truth that flows under the surface of our conversations, immune to carefully crafted scripts and political talking points. Most people spend their lives focused on the words, polishing their vocabulary and perfecting their delivery. But they miss the entire point.
The real connection happens at a different level. It happens on a level of frequency.
Bestselling author and communication expert Erwin McManus has spent a lifetime decoding this hidden language. “I don't listen to words, I listen to frequencies,” he tells Chris Do. This isn’t a metaphysical abstraction. It is a tangible skill, one that can be developed, honed, and used to transform every interaction, from the boardroom to the living room.
McManus recalls speaking to 5,000 leaders in Germany through a translator. Halfway through a controversial point, he stopped the entire event. “You didn’t say what I said,” he told the translator, live on stage. The translator was stunned. “You don't speak German, how could you know that?”
McManus knew because the frequency was wrong. “The moment you spoke, your frequency didn't match my frequency,” he explains. “I knew you changed the meaning of what I said.” The translator, who disagreed with the statement, had softened it, gutting it of its power.
In that moment, the integrity of the message was more important than politeness or comfort. McManus felt a stewardship to the idea he was there to deliver. That single, confrontational act became the most memorable part of the entire conference, a living demonstration of a profound truth: you can orchestrate the words, but you cannot hide your frequency.
This is the central crisis of modern communication. We are drowning in words but starving for genuine connection. We hear what we want to hear, we filter out what challenges us, and we talk past each other constantly. The solution is not to talk more, or even to talk better. It is to start listening differently.
The Survivalist's Instinct
McManus’s hyper-awareness of frequency was not an academic pursuit. It was a survival mechanism forged in a challenging childhood. “I had to learn how to read between the lines for survival,” he says. “I had to learn how to read micro-expressions… to pay attention to the nuances between the words and the spaces between the phrasing.”
Human beings are incredibly adaptive. As McManus notes, people who grow up in volatile environments, perhaps with an alcoholic parent, learn to read a room with a level of acuity others never develop. He references a man who could tell if his father was drunk simply by the sound of his keys in the door, a skill that determined whether the night would be peaceful or violent.
Our capacity to listen is vast, but most of us let it atrophy. We aren't forced to rely on these deeper senses, so we don't. Yet, the ability remains dormant within us. “I actually think that all of us hear in frequencies, but we translate in words and language,” McManus argues.
This disconnect is the source of endless conflict. McManus points to a common dynamic in marriage. “When your wife says what you want her to say, it's easy to hear,” he observes. “And when she's saying something you don't want her to say, it's easy to misunderstand her.” This self-serving translation happens in every relationship. To combat it, one of the most powerful questions you can ask is simple: “What did you hear me say?”
The answer is often shocking. What we thought we communicated and what the other person received are frequently two different messages entirely. This understanding led McManus to develop a comprehensive framework for decoding human interaction: The Seven Frequencies of Communication.
This is not a personality test like Myers-Briggs, boxing you into a static identity. Instead, it’s a dynamic system. We all have access to all seven frequencies, but we tend to have a dominant style, a home base we return to. The most effective communicators learn to move fluidly between them.
The Seven Frequencies of Communication
McManus’s framework provides a map to the invisible world of human connection. By identifying these archetypes in ourselves and others, we can begin to communicate with more intention, empathy, and impact. Understanding these frequencies is a core component of building an authentic brand, a principle explored in how to build an authentic personal brand.
The seven frequencies are:
- The Motivator: This is the most likable frequency. Motivators inspire, energize, and build self-belief. Their language is filled with hope and positivity. McManus points to his friend John Gordon, author of The Energy Bus, as a classic Motivator who sees the world through the lens of positive energy and inspiration.
- The Challenger: The Challenger’s role is to call people up to a higher standard. They see potential and push you to realize it. Their message is often, “You’re awesome, but not everything you should be.” This is the coach who tells you to do one more rep, the mentor who won't let you settle.
- The Commander: This frequency is direct, authoritative, and decisive. Commanders are essential in a crisis. When the ship is sinking, you don't want consensus; you want a Commander who knows what to do and gives clear orders. The challenge is turning it off at home.
- The Healer: Healers see the world through the lens of wounding and trauma. They are convinced that the path to wholeness involves deep inner work. They crave deep conversation and seek to mend what is broken in people.
- The Professor: This frequency is data-driven and information-focused. Professors believe the greatest gift they can give is knowledge. They change lives by transferring what they have learned to others. Their power lies in clarity and insight.
- The Seer: The Seer is the visionary. They speak of the future and, in doing so, elevate hope in the room. They see greatness in people and call them toward a future they cannot yet imagine for themselves. They paint a picture of a better world.
- The Maven: The rarest and most distinct frequency. While a Seer sees a beautiful future, a Maven sees a different reality entirely. They challenge our fundamental assumptions about the world. Listening to a Maven often leaves you with the thought, “I’ve never seen it that way before.” They are the architects of new paradigms.
Frequencies in the Wild
These frequencies are not theoretical. They play out in our daily lives with profound consequences.
McManus shares that his wife, Kim, and his son, Aaron, are both Commanders. They naturally tell him what to do. “I live in those command-challenger frequencies all the time,” he says. In contrast, Commander is his seventh and weakest frequency. This created a fascinating dynamic where his own children once pleaded with him, “Please just tell us what to do! Don't be Yoda, don't be Miyagi.” He had created such a deficit of command that they craved its directness.
Recognizing these patterns transformed his family’s communication. His son will now text him, saying, “The next five things I’m going to say will all sound like commands. They’re actually just suggestions.” This meta-awareness defuses the tension and allows the message to be heard.
The key is adaptability. McManus describes speaking at Lewis Howes’s Summit of Greatness. He prepared a visionary, big-idea talk, fitting for the event’s title. But upon arriving, he sensed the frequency of the room. “It's packed with people who are there for therapeutic purposes,” he realized. “Everyone there had wounds… and they were all there for healing.” He recognized that Lewis Howes himself emits a powerful Healer frequency, attracting an audience in need of that energy.
At the last minute, McManus threw out his plan. He walked on stage and began his talk from a Healer frequency, radically altering his message to meet the audience where they were. That decision created a level of connection that would have been impossible otherwise.
This is the difference between a performer and a true communicator. A performer delivers their script. A communicator serves the audience. This requires listening to the frequency of the room, not just the applause. The ability to pivot and serve is a hallmark of successful entrepreneurs, a theme that resonates with the journey from freelancer to agency owner detailed in how to build a 7-figure agency.
Every frequency has a powerful, positive expression. But each also has a dark side. A shadow frequency.
This became startlingly clear to McManus when he was asked to analyze the characters from two popular TV shows: Friends and Succession. He started with Succession and hit a wall. He couldn't find a single one of the seven positive frequencies in any of the main characters. It was a crisis of faith in his own system. “I had a nervous breakdown,” he jokes.
Then came the epiphany: look at the shadows. Suddenly, the entire show unlocked. He found all seven frequencies, but only in their negative, destructive forms. The Roy family is a masterclass in shadow frequencies. Command becomes tyranny. Challenge becomes sabotage. Motivation becomes manipulation.
“There is not a single character in Succession that operates from a positive frequency,” McManus states. “They all operate from negative frequency.”
This is a chilling observation. These complex, compelling, and often celebrated characters are teaching us, by proxy, how to communicate. We watch them succeed through betrayal and manipulation, and a part of us learns that this is the path to power. We are learning our communication styles from negative archetypes.
The shadow of the Commander is the tyrant who needs to control everyone. The shadow of the Healer is the person who subtly needs you to stay wounded so they can feel needed. The shadow of the Professor can become an arrogant know-it-all, more interested in being right than in helping others learn.
When you operate from a technique rather than your essence, it can easily devolve into its shadow. This is why authenticity is paramount. Your communication must be an organic extension of who you are, not a mask you put on. It’s a concept that directly applies to sales, where authentic connection is more powerful than any script, as explained in this sales training workshop.
The Rarest Frequency: The Maven
Of all the frequencies, the Maven is the most unusual. McManus, after deep self-reflection, identifies himself as a Maven. This was not an easy realization. “It was really challenging for me because who you are… you just think of yourself as you, and then there’s everyone else,” he reflects.
The Maven’s defining characteristic is seeing a different reality. As a child, McManus was an immigrant from El Salvador who compulsively sleepwalked, trying to connect with the alien species he believed left him on Earth as a social experiment. “I was trying to explain reality in a way that wasn't normative,” he says. This feeling of profound disconnection and an alternate view of reality put him in a psychiatric chair by age ten.
Mavens are the ones who write The Matrix, who peel back the layers of our accepted reality. They make people nervous because they challenge orthodoxy. They don't influence masses directly, but they influence the influencers. They plant the seeds of new paradigms that other frequencies, like Motivators and Seers, then spread to the world.
McManus offers two powerful examples of Mavens:
- Brian Bushway: A man who, after losing his sight, taught himself to see through sound. He pioneered the human use of echolocation, riding bikes and skateboarding by making clicks with his mouth and interpreting the echoes. He didn't just adapt to blindness; he redefined the limits of human senses.
- Dan Goods: An artist at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. He convinced JPL to create a job for him where he translates impossibly complex scientific principles into art installations, allowing everyday people to see and feel the hidden realities of the universe.
Mavens show us that the world is not as it seems. Their very existence is a challenge to our perception. This unique perspective is often born from struggle and isolation, a journey of finding a way to translate a world only they can see. That struggle to communicate is what drives them.
Application: Frequency in Leadership and Love
Understanding the seven frequencies is more than a fascinating intellectual exercise. It is a practical tool for building better relationships, stronger teams, and a more connected life.
Chris Do asks McManus for his assessment. McManus identifies a rare blend in Do: an intersection of Professor, Healer, and Seer. “People don't know from you whether they're walking away with vision, with insight, or with personal healing,” he observes. This blend is powerful because it was developed organically by serving people, not as a calculated technique.
This explains why Do’s tough-love critiques in design can feel both cutting and caring. A Healer will tell you a hard truth because they want your ultimate healing more than your immediate approval. As Do admits, “I sometimes wish I could not tell the truth,” but he feels compelled to deliver the feedback that will actually help someone grow, even if it creates friction.
The framework also illuminates relationship dynamics. Do shares that he is an eternal optimist, while his wife is more cautious, often repairing things that break when his optimism outpaces reality. McManus reframes this: because Do pulls so hard in one direction, his wife feels she must compensate by pulling equally hard in the other. It’s a system seeking balance. The solution isn’t for her to become more like him, but for him to pause and acknowledge her perspective, to show her that he sees the risks she sees. When she feels seen, she can trust him to venture into the unknown.
This leads to a crucial distinction McManus makes between love and trust. “Love is easy, trust is hard,” he says. Love is unconditional, a posture you take toward someone. Trust is conditional. It is earned. “When you say I trust you, you’re saying something about their posture towards you.”
In leadership, this is paramount. You can manage details, or you can manage relationships. When you build a team of people you trust, you no longer have to manage details. You are free to lead. “You can fix any problem if you have the right kind of people,” McManus insists. “But you cannot fix the organization if you have the wrong people, because the decisions aren’t the problem, it’s the people making the decisions.” Trust is the ultimate currency. And as McManus has found, trustworthy people are the ones who are most willing to trust others.
The path to connection begins with listening. Not to the words, but to the music beneath them. Listen for the frequency. Identify it in yourself. Sense it in others. And learn to modulate your own, not to be fake, but to be what the moment requires: a Commander in a crisis, a Healer for a wound, a Seer for a vision.
That is the art of communication.
TRANSCRIPT
in today's video I sit down with Irwin mcmanis an iconic class and among other things an expert in the art of communication Irwin shares profound insights on how understanding and harnessing different frequencies can dramatically enhance our interactions whether you're a leader a creative or simply someone looking to connect more deeply with those
around you this discussion will open new Pathways for how you express yourself and understand others get ready to discover how to align your communication Style with your true Essence making every interaction more authentic and impactful let's dive [Music] in Irwin we've done this dance together a couple different times and I'm so thrilled
to have you here in person even better than across on Zoom or something else I first came across you at the Ford event it was a small Mastermind it was in San Diego but today I I'd like to kind of just talk about Communications you're your you're an amazing Storyteller you have a
way of Framing and reframing things maybe we just start off with kind of with just an open thing and I'll just sit back and listen and figure out where we go with this but on the topic of communication tell me what you're thinking about these days before we dive in there talking about
our origin story yes um I I had not yet come across you and I just got to know Neil and it was a new world for me and I got there early and you spoke before I spoke but after you finished there was a break and this whole group of people just gravitated
around you and you're on the those whiteboard drawing out diagrams and teaching them and and I remember sitting in the back thinking to myself this one you're really compelling but two you're incredibly generous with your time but really generous with your Insight and and so I told myself I have to find a
way to meet this person and get to know him so for me that was my great gift my great takeaway from from the time there was a great it was get to meet you you just have such I just love your spirit I love your essence you know since then we we've been
all to eat together that's right and everywhere um I go people speak of you in such um high regard people just really not just love your content they love your essence as a person so I just want to say that I think you're aware you B thank you so much really appreciate that
but um speaking of that you know um yeah you asked me earlier about what do I have coming up I have a uh a book that's coming out called the seven frequencies of communication uh I did a master class called The Art of communication that really was about a six to eight hour
Master Class teaching people basically the the universe of communication it's not really technique and methodologies it's really more about Essence and how to uh connect um what you say to who you are as a human being to make it organic and uh essential a part of who you are as a human being
and out of that um I developed a seven frequencies of communication which really what what really was um striking me was how many times in my life I've listened to someone that other people thought um would just change my life and I didn't really connect or other times I really connected to someone
and I thought it would change someone else's life and they didn't really connect and I realized that we don't all listen and speak at the same frequency there's something unique in the way the humans interact and um and connect together and also I also realized there were there are times in my life
where someone told me something that was true and I rejected it it wasn't because of the truth it was because of the frequency of it and and it's almost easier to believe something that isn't accurate when the frequency resonates more with us and I think even on a political system you know when
you're looking at you know right now we're having the whole thing with Biden and Trump and everything I pay attention so much to the frequencies in which people speak not the words with that they say because especially in the political world you're taught to say what needs to be said and you can
you can um orchestrate the words but you can't hide your frequency and so you can tell when a person's telling the truth or not telling the truth you can tell when uh they are actually owning something or not and and in a very like I don't know metaphysical way I began discovering this
early and I'll tell you a funny story I was in in Germany speaking at an evant about 5,000 laders and I had a translator since I'm speaking English and I knew most of the things I I was I was saying was very controversial to that room but about halfway through my talk I
make a statement a really strong statement and my translator translates and I stop and I say to him you didn't say what I said he goes what and I said you did not say what I said you didn't agree with what I said so you changed it he goes you don't speak German
how could you know that and I said that's not the point did you change what I said and or did you translate what I said he goes no I I I changed what you said I said you know your job isn't to agree with me it's just to translate me with Integrity I
did this in front of 5,000 people wow and afterwards no one remembered what I talked about I don't even remember what I talked about everyone remembered that moment yeah and people were asking me how could you know in fact the the translator just was devastated going how could you know and I told
I said I don't listen to words I listen to frequencies and the moment you spoke your frequency didn't match my frequency and I knew in fact it was it was in conflict with my frequency so I knew you changed the meaning of what I said and my family has been embarrassed by me
because when I I I've traveled to maybe 70 80 countries around the world and I'll go to different countries I'll listen to people in languages I do not know and then I'll go up to them and I'll say excuse me I was EAS dropping did you say this and did you say say
this and I say 90% of the time they'll tell me yeah that that is do you speak Korean or do you speak parsy or do said no I just I'm just doing an experiment and and I actually think that all of us hear in frequencies but we translate in words and language and
because of that I think like words are are magic like the ability for human beings to connect at a um at a deep level is to me almost like transcendental well I have to ask you this small question because most people aren't aware of the frequencies or even if we were we probably
wouldn't have the the wherewithal to stop and say wait a minute your job is to do this and what what compelled you to say that or just is that your nature and you've been this way forever to say that to the translator yeah just like hey I know we're live in front of
5,000 people but I have a problem right now we need to resolve it uh like for me being a little conflict diverse I'm like uh I don't think you said what I said but I'm just going to let it roll what made you say no we need to stop we have to have
a conversation right now well part of it is I would not get on a plane from Los Angeles to Berlin yes if I didn't think the message I was bringing was critical and important and so how I felt in that moment or how he would feel in that moment was less important than
the stewardship of that message and so I I I felt like I was just um a steward of a message and so wasn't about me at all yeah it would have been so much easier for me just to keep going right I would have been liked better if I had let him go
because they would thought I already agreed with them but but you can know this in everyday conversations where you're you're talking to your wife I was going to say fighting with your wife but I'm sure you never fight but um have you ever noticed that when your wife says what you want her
to say it's easy to hear and when she's saying something you don't want her to say it's it's easy to miss understand her M and this is true in human relationships I I would always tell my team look when someone agrees with me it's easy for me to hear them when someone doesn't
agree with me it's easy for me to reinterpret them and to translate what they say to match what I said and that's why one of the most important questions you can ask a person is what did you hear me say and I I've been married 40 years I can tell you that most
of our conflicts are when we don't actually hear what the other person has said but we hear what we think they should have said it's dramatically different it's true even with parenting in every relationship uh and so yeah I know it's weird that I did that on stage I think it's that I
also do that in real life you know human beings are incredibly adaptive my wife asked me one time do you think human beings are capable of anything and I said we're capable of doing anything we need for survival there there's a tribe in the Amazon called debaca people and by the age of
eight years old the children have a PhD level knowledge of botney and the reason they have that is because it's the most dangerous echosystem um in the world and so they have to have that level of knowledge to survive most of us wouldn't think it's possible to have a PhD level knowledge of
botney at 28 much less eight we are capable of massive adaptation and I and what I noticed is many people who grow up let's say with the father was an alcoholic or they grew up in a home where there's abuse or violence they learn how to read micro Expressions at levels that other
people cannot they began to um learn how to interpret different sounds and and almost the spaces in between the material I remember one person told me that he could tell by the sound of his father's keys outside the door whether his dad was drunk or not and whether it was going to be
a night filled with violence or night with peace and it's it it's amazing our capacity to listen and to hear and to communicate and to connect and so I grew up in in a somewhat um challenging environment and um I had to learn how to read between the lines for survival I I
had to learn how to read micro Expressions I had to learn how to uh pay attention to the nuances and between the words and the spaces between um the phrasing and uh and so I in some sense I think I was I was trained for this from from um my infancy forward and
now I I it's one of the greatest like assets I have in my life and I love teaching other people not just how to communicate but how to listen on that note when you growing up in these challenging times were you appreciative of those challenges at that moment or only upon the realization
of what it did for you not what it did to you that you can appreciate it I don't think I was appreciating you know the the the dark moments in my life but I also don't think I thought they were extraordinary because it's the only life I knew so I didn't know other
people had a different life right and now with social media you can have a sense that other people have different life in fact you have a sense that they have a life they that actually they don't have right but when you're growing up you don't know that what you have is unusual or
um good or bad it just is what it is yes and so I I didn't grow up going why is my life like this but I did grow up going why don't I fit into the world and so I knew that there was something disconnecting inside of me to the world around me
I didn't know that there was any world better outside of that and and which is really interesting because when you look at like the psychological structure of people um you cannot predict by the environment how a person will actually be shaped by it because it's it's how we react and respond to that
environment that actually shapes us and and so I even though I grew up in one kind of environment I actually became a reactionary to that environment so ironically um I grip around a lot of people who truth was just um a tool there is no morality to truth or falsehood to telling the
truth or lying so for whatever reason I think by the time I was probably seven or eight I decided I would never lie and oh man I got hit all the time you know just got beat and smacked and punished and later my mom said everyone else would say they didn't do it
and then you wouldn't say anything and the reason I wouldn't say I didn't do it is because then I just looked like I was lying like everyone else right so I would rather be punished than be seen as a liar so I developed this incredibly intense commitment to truth even though I didn't
have a a moral Universe for it does that make sense so sometimes you actually get a really powerful virtue when you're in a in an that lacks that virtue just because you react to it and make a different Choice well you were saying earlier that we are capable of doing anything to adapt
for survival and if you're living in challenging conditions then you're incredibly adaptive because you have to do it otherwise you would not be here right yeah absolutely so to bring this back to your ability to to feel or sense frequency in terms of what the intention is is this something that someone who
didn't grow up in a this similar challenging ways how do we learn from that how do we use some of the things that you pick up through your your evolution is like how how do we learn from that yeah I think we're on a spectrum and I think sometimes there are people in
our Lives who are toned Offa they only use one frequency for everyone and they expect everyone to use the same frequency so they're not very nuanced and we might call that a lack of emotional intelligence or or social intuition and um you know I remember one time I've been traveling a ton and
I came home it was probably two weeks I was on the road and the moment I walked into the house my wife Kim who if we looked at the frequencies her primary frequency is called a commander and uh and so even when my wife's just asking it comes across like a command I
walk in the house and the first thing she says to me is take out the garbage now I know that when Kim says take out the garbage she's saying I've missed you so much I'm so happy you're here I love you with every fiber of my being and there's so much to read
in that statement but then on that day I did not read that all I read was take out the garbage and I I responded by saying I just walked in I've been gone two weeks I'm tired can I rest and then she realized when she down she goes I'm so sorry you know
just sit and chill and um then a couple minutes later I got a call from some of the some some of the guys and they said hey uh we heard your home we rented a gym you want to come play basketball I feel like I know where the story is going and well
you know let let me let me let me see right so so I wait a few minutes I go to Kim and I say hey honey um after I take out the arage you're like a kid in the story you really are and you know would be okay I mean I know how
important it is to you that I have like good guy friends in my life and you know uh would it be okay if I go play B all the guys and Kim said oh no you are so tired I would never let you go play basketball you're this exhausted I said no it's
like it's crazy I'm reenergized you good and then Kim looked at me and he said so let me get this right you just got home and you'd rather go play basketball with the guys than spend time with me and when you put it like that sounds terrible it sound pretty bad and she
said sure go right ahead oh okay I see there's a difference between language and frequency sure even an idot like me can hear that one the problem is a lot of people can't yeah they actually only hear the words and not the frequency yeah by the way I never tell the ending of
the story I did not go play basketball that's why I'm still made you made the right choice you made the right choice yeah and cuz I knew that in that statement she would go right ahead what she was saying is I'm going to make your life life miserable for the next 2 3
weeks right because you chose that over me yeah cuz I'm going to be so hurt right I'm going to carry that hurt yeah and I'm using an extreme example but every single day people speak to you in the conflict of their words to their frequency if you listen carefully um you actually begin
to hear people more beautifully you know and you understand people better um you want going to give you just like a fast rundown let's do it right I'm just GNA lay them out there's there's the motivator okay the Challenger the commander the Healer the professor The Seer and the maven and we'll we
can come back but the reason I'm just kind of going over them quickly is I'm just going to talk about my little Universe um my wife is a commander and so she's uh she speaks dominantly through command um even when she's asking she's toic right and and my son uh Aaron who's just
turned 36 he's also a commander so I have a wife and a son who are commanders and they always just tell me what to do and uh my daughter who's 32 she's the second frequency that I identified the Challenger so my daughter is always challenging me that I can be better that I
can be more that I can you know step up my son and my wife are always telling me what I can do how you know how I should act and choose and so I live in those command Challenger frequencies all the time now what's been really helpful is when I taught them the
seven frequencies it was like a light came on Aon will send me texts the next five things I'm going to say will all sound like commands they're actually just suggestions I don't even know if they're good ideas and so he's learned how to mitigate that Commander frequency because the commander frequency is great
when there's a fire when you're at War when you're in a ship and a tsunami comes you want someone who doesn't need consensus who knows what to do and speaks with directive authoritative language but when you come home if you've been a commander all day at work and you're commanding your six-year-old daughter
you're going to really damage her spare if you come home and all your language to your wife as Commander you're going to end up with such um a distance in your relationship and because commanders always assume everyone needs them to tell them what to do it's almost like they don't need to tell
everyone what to do they believe everyone needs them to tell them what to do so they're serving you and with the command and which is kind of ironic because um of the seven frequencies uh we have an assessment that we've taken two years to develop command is my seventh frequency it's my last
frequency and this is how it plays out I don't know if there are any children in the world who ever said this but both my kids have come to me and said please just tell us what to do don't be Yoda don't be Miyagi I don't need your your Zen Dad I just
I just need you to tell me what to do and then my response will be well let's think about this and it makes me angry I've I've created such a deficit of command in my home that my children beg me for command in fact one time my daughter was sharing about her life
she goes my dad never even told me not to drink or do drugs or to sleep around and I'm like I kind of did you know by showing a better way right you know but she can't remember me ever telling her and the reason is because I think for me commanding someone makes
them weaker that's not always true there are moments where I have to become a commander and and but because it's my furthest frequency I have to consciously choose it it never happens um naturally for me does that make sense y you know and uh and and you can hear different speakers you can
listen to them um one of my friends at Louis house I spoke at his conference I think it's like Summit of greatness or something like that and I thought okay it's a summit summit of greatness they're going to be Visionary they're going to be focusing on being great and and so I came
in with this like Visionary concept and I'm going to just blow them away with you know a big idea for the future and then I'm interacting with people before I speak and it's packed with people who are there for therapeutic purposes everyone there had wounds and and they were all there for healing
and I listened to Lewis and I realized Lewis Is A Healer like his frequency that he sends out emits to the world as healer frequency so the thousands of people who came to this conference are all the people who came for healing and so right before I went on the platform I told
myself somewhere in your talk you need to go to your healer frequency somewhere in your talk but I got nervous and thought it's not going to happen I'm going to get all excited I'm going to get really focused become super intense and going forget and so I made a decision the last minute
when I walked onto that stage I began from a Healer frequency and it radically altered my messaging and and I think it connected me to to the audience at a level that would have never happened because I'm listening to the frequency of the people and rather than saying what frequency am I most
comfortable with I just decided what frequency can this audience hear from Bast and and so each frequency has like a great power great strength somewhere more common the first one I mentioned is the motivator I think it was and um and motivators to me are the are the most likable you know they're
they're the ones everybody wants to hear because they they they inspire you they energize you um you know their their language is always breathing into you like inspiration and hope and a sense of self-belief I have a friend named John Gordon who's written like 40 books and he wrote a book called The
Energy Bus that's the perfect motivator and you know and now he hates being called in uh in energy coach I introduced him the other day as an energy coach he was I'm not an energy coach anymore said yeah but you were when I met you you know and so I I have you
stuck you know in the way I I met you but he always talks about energy he's he you know he's always talking about positivity so all he's talking about have a positive mental framework and he sees the whole world from people need to be inspired and people need a deeper sense of self-belief
and that frequency emits all the time with him which is really interesting cuz he was a really negative person and he all talk about how he was so pessimistic and so negative his wife told him if you don't change I'm going to leave you and so what happens and the reason I tell
that story is that every frequency has a shadow it's not that he moved to being a motivator is that he'd been living in the shadow for a long time and and I don't spend as much time talking about the Shadows but um where they really stood out to me was when I was
developing this material and building this universe out I asked people what TV show would you like for me to break down their frequencies overwhelmingly two shows friends secession talk about two different types of people I don't know if the same people watch those two shows but I had friends in secession I thought
I'll do secession they're interesting characters they very interesting yeah and then I had a nervous breakdown I had like a panic attack because I could not find a single one of the sou frequencies from any of the characters and talk about a crisis of Faith where like it doesn't work the system's broken
this universe isn't real and then I had a moment of epiphany look at the shadows and I started breaking down the show and I found all seven frequencies in the shadows but the reason I couldn't find them at first is that there is not a single character in assession that operates from a
positive frequency they all operate from negative frequency and I and then I began to discover what I think is a little disturbing that so many of the most interesting characters that we have in television and film are really only negative frequencies and they rarely ever express a positive frequency and which maybe is
um a little telling and I think it's a it's a it's a warning to us because we learn our frequencies from things like friends we learn how to use them well we learn what works we watch the session we go oh that's this is what I need to do and this is who
I need to be to succeed and and so they're actually teaching us how to communicate with each other and and no wonder we have I think such a breakdown of communication right now and in the world around this can you quickly go through the other types and describe them so I'm I'm trying
to figure out which one I am I know which one I think my wife is and she may disagree with me but well uh I mean they're fairly evident so you have the the motivator who inspires and builds self-belief the Challenger who always sees their role is to call people out and call
them up you're awesome but not everything you should be I felt that in my heart I like you talking to me for a second you know there's more in you Chris okay I'm sorry but you need to get up at 4 okay yes sir do your sit-ups get the gold plunge right and
take on the the hurt yes and that's the Challenger right you know and then you have the commander who's Direct and authoritative and then you have the Healer and the Healer sees everyone through their wounding and the healer is convinced that um the the narrative is you need to go to have a
conversation with your inner child you need to deal with your inner wounds and your trauma and um and this is the journey to finding yourself and my experience with you is there's a lot of healer inside of you and if I since I created the assessment I would just say in my assessment
there's there's a lot of heal good authority you can say that yes would you confirm that I think so yeah yeah it depends on who you talk to though okay yeah yeah and you know the Healer does have a shadow is it the commander understanding no um uh well no then we can
talk about Blended frequencies okay uh the next one is a professor yes and professors tend to be data driven they see the most powerful gift as the transference of knowledge and information you have professor and you as well yes and and and so the gift you give people is your learning and you
believe if you can pass this learning on to someone it will change their life and and and then you have the Seer and the Seer is the Visionary they they um they see the world through the future you know that what and so they emit hope when they speak hope elevates in the
room it's not just that people have a bigger vision for the world or for their company they also have a bigger vision for themselves and their life and my my favorite example of what I think is like the highest level of visionary is when uh Jesus looks at the multitudes that were all
outcasts and poor and prostitutes and drug addicts and tax collectors and he said you are the light of the world and you're the salt of the earth to me that's the best expression of a Visionary that you see greatness in people you call them to a future that they can't imagine themselves and
and the last one's a maven which is the most um um I wouldn't say rare but it it it it definitely is the least common and and the maven is different than a Seer a Seer sees a beautiful future but a maven sees a different reality and the only way you really know
you're listening to a maven is you're not sure if they're right you know or you have a thought of I've never seen that before I've never thought of it that way before and and so in the maybe their most destructive mavens violate our views of reality and um and they're the ones who
always take the red pill in The Matrix and they also the ones who probably write the Matrix you know and so if if there was a movie that expressed mavens it would be like Inception they just keep peeling away what's real and they make us nervous because they don't seem to protect like
truth and what they're really protecting his Orthodoxy and and so that mavens influence history but they don't influence masses they tend to influence the other frequencies that influence masses like motivators are going to influence a lot more people Challengers won't influence as many as motivators but they're going to influence a lot of
people commanders actually do influence a lot of people they just have to do it in in tactical ways it just can't be continuous I Healers there's always like a massive audience because people are always struggling with their deep wounds and Brokenness right right you know and but going back to healer a little
bit um some of my friends who are healers you know you you've met a Healer when the first time you meet with them um they say to you hey let's I just want to go deep and I'm like we haven't even dated yet you know so early for me you know and and
so a lot of times a Healer they hate superficial conversation they just want to go deep you know and and they always see you through a wound and so if you don't feel wounded in this moment you almost like create a wound you know because you feel obligated to be wounded because when
you're a Healer you're most needed when someone's wounded so if someone's not wounded you don't feel as needed MH and so there's an interesting kind of dynamic in the mix of all those so those those are the some so is the is the theory then we tend to lean towards one frequency that's
our default frequency or how does this work this isn't like a u personality test okay uh if you're familiar with the mys braks yes U you know you're you're an ESTJ or an ENFP or an infj and and that's what you are yeah and you're not ever going to be the other one
this is not like that I I'm convinced that there's an aspect of all seven frequencies that are in all of us yes and it's just a matter of which frequency uh resonates more with our core which one we've used the most and for people who are Dynamic communicators now I don't mean on
stages I mean people who really value connecting at a human level they usually pick up two three frequencies they have like a cluster of frequencies and so when you're watching like a world class communicator on stage many times there's two or three frequencies operating at the same time and you don't even understand
what you're experiencing it's like Commander and healer at the same time it's it's weird you feel this authoritative voice giving you the courage to go to war but where you going to war with is for your own healing and and dealing with your wounds being honest with yourself it's like this interesting connection
of the two you can have a person who's um you know a professor healer and they and the blending is very interesting there or a motivator who's also a Seer and and so they Inspire and they build Supply but they also cast vision and help you see a different view of the future
so there can be blends of these uh the one that is most difficult to blend is the maven you know and I think it's because just a small uh populace of people and and um my team is really worked hard to me just to I find some people like even in our own
Community going who are the mavens because um I work part of a community called Mosaic and we have one guy that I think is a maven his name was Brian Bush white Brian is blind and uh but I can't say he's visually impaired uh because he sees more than almost all of us
he basically became known around the world for echolocation he's the guy that started making sounds and can ride his bike and can skateboard and can move more fluidly and capable than most people on this planet because he sees through sounds and has revolutionized our understanding of human capacity of senses and so when
I'm talking to Brian I feel like I'm the one that's you know Limited in my capacity to see and and he wasn't always blind I think it's something happen later in life so he actually had this mental construct in him before he was blind but his blindness actually um skewed it to see
the world where location I think he's one of those you know one I have another friend named Dan goods and he works for um JPL but he's an artist and he went in literally convinced JPL to create a job for him so he could translate obscure complex scientific principles to Everyday People and
so he I remember going I think under the Brooklyn bridge bridge in New York where he had created all these installations and you know sometimes you'll do something more like um you'll see a speck of dust and then when you see the microscope you see like a universe inside of it he'll create
art pieces that allow us to see reality in the way we've never seen it before and um and and and those people are so often times eccentric or odd that it's hard for them to translate what's inside of them to the general audience well you mentioned earlier that Commander might be your seventh
frequency yeah what is your first frequency well you know do we really want to be that self-disclosing can you say give us a hint maybe yeah yes I when I was developing um the seven frequencies what I realized was it was easier for me to see the frequencies further from me mhm so
right away like motivator Commander uh Challenger I saw them right away yeah you know uh healer uh Professor they came very very fast and then I saw Seer and then I was mapping it all out I looked at and I said well I travel on some of these but this isn't really who
I am and who I am in my core is a maven and which is why I create things like the seven frequencies of communication um but I couldn't see it it was it was really challenging for me because who you are isn't you don't think of yourself as as a personality you don't
think of yourself as a you just as a frequency you just think of yourself as you and then there's everyone else right and and my my family you know when we were mapping this out was going okay let's map out when you first began disc discovering this and I realized that for me
it was it was a huge challenge you know as as a as a child I'm an immigrant from El Salvador so Spanish was my first language um I I compulsively ran away from home in El Salvador from sleepwalking I would climb over the wall go walking down the street and would go out
the fields and um and try to connect to whatever species on another planet left me here and believing that I actually was from somewhere else and that I was a I was a social experiment to see if we could integrate with human beings and so I realized that even from an early age
of five or six I was trying to explain reality in a way that you know wasn't normative you know and I think a lot of people have that feeling of huge isolation and disconnection we just don't all explain it the same way you know someone else might explain it as you love my
brother more than you love me or you know um or I'm never good enough for you or something like that and and somehow my my my construct became um I'm an alien species and and so from a young age that became a part of it and and then I I you know I
didn't know that and so I was in a psychiatric Chair by the time I was 10 years old and um because my family didn't know if I was what they told me like is you know language to use back then you know um and or just like psychotic and a lot of it
CU I lived in a different world and you know it's hard to me to to understand the world in which I lived um and it took me a long time to learn how to communicate um with anyone and I had an uncle who saw me once I was an adult and he said
so do you speak now and he didn't mean as a speaker I said I said what what do you mean he goes I drove you from Miami to North Carolina to College and you never said one word you know and and I that was like my normal space and and maybe that's why
communication is so important to me is I felt like I had a log Jam of endless things I wanted to connect with people and to express and to to share with other people I didn't know how and um and then I just felt like if this is what's trapped inside of me it's
got to be trapped inside of other people too you know so maybe there's a part of me that has a little bit of healer you know trying to um to help people not be alone in the world you know the word communication comes from the same emology as the word community and the
word communion to commune if you want to connect at the deepest human level you have to learn how to communicate and if you develop the skills and the Art of communication you're going to be able to connect to people at the deepest human level and I think that's what's most important you were
talking about communication as it impacts all everything entrepreneurship our relationships uh in with employees or with our boss how do we use this information now or you can take it anywhere yeah know Havey started that's what I was asking I I just want to maybe give you like my feedback from my experience
with you is I felt like I was experiencing uh an intersection of a professor healer and Seer all at the same time and I do think it's one of the things that makes you very rare and uh and I know you can't say you're very rare but you can accept that I can
accept it and and what makes you rare is that you've you've developed this by serving people and it it's it's on a technique when you take it on as a technique it becomes a shadow it but when it becomes a part of your essence it actually becomes a really powerful Dynamic and so
people don't know from you whether they're walking away with vision with Insight or with personal healing and I think that's a part of the power of it and you say well not everyone feels that it's because you don't always operate in one single frequency and by the way just because you have a
Healer frequency which I do believe you have it doesn't mean you're always saying nice things to people because if a person has a cancer and you have to and and you have to go through a brutal process to help them get better you'll you'll more you'll be more likely to tell them the
truth because you want their healing more than you want their acceptance and and and and so that might be a dynamic you know difference there yeah um but you're spot on by by the way okay I sometimes wish I could not tell the truth M and it's a dangerous thing I've learned to
regulate myself because used to be people would show me their design work which is what I did before this yeah and they were like what do you think and then I'm like here's what you need to hear because other people are going to give you BS but it's it's not going to help
you get better but by saying that they're not really ready to hear that and so I create this weird friction so then I just now ask them what would be most helpful to you and sometimes they ask me just look at the colors and I can say that but if you really ask
me for my true opinion and I feel like you're honest and sincere then I would tell you and it gets me in all kinds of trouble oh I love that oh you see I love that level of scrutiny I'm actually like feel exhilarated I mean just think that level of honesty and Truth
is so rare in the world it's it's incredible incredible gift what what I do is I ask people um I just need to know how much you want to grow you know and they go what do you mean I said well like I can just be kind you know and just encourage you
where at or I can press and and maybe help you see that there's a lot of development could happen here because a part of the challenge for me is is is reading people and knowing it's not my job to help people become what they do not want to become right right right you
know so some some people just want average branding yeah you know and they want your affirmation yes and and so you have to figure out you know how do you firm without not telling them the truth right right but no I think that's a very interesting mix um you know I just look
at it in terms of um every relationship in my life uh Mariah and Aaron my son and daughter are in their 30s and they live within 8 minutes of me and they both work with me in different businesses and they're my best friends I I think most parents don't have lifelong relationships with
their kids because they never learned how to listen to them they never learned how to hear them and to understand their fre frequencies and and also how to be adaptive in your frequency you know um my wife she she goes crazy that I'm always optimistic we've been married 40 years and for a
lot of years she would say I'll try to be more optimistic I'll try to be more optimistic and about two years ago she said I don't feel any obligation to be optimistic she goes I like being negative pessimistic and she goes you're just way too optimistic I just need you sometimes to be
negative with me and what she's really saying is I need you to understand the way I see the world and and and I realize oh I don't want to pause long enough to see the world the way she sees the world because I I feel like I I it could be a black
hole that pulls me in it it never pulls me in I actually begin to see the world better because of her and you know and so it's an interesting kind of dynamic that um I spent my life learning how to navigate relationships and make them better and when you look at that on
an interpersonal level look at that as a on a leadership level and you realize oh my team what they need right now is Vision but sometimes it's just too much Vision no what my team right now needs is to be challenged oh no but sometimes you can over challenge people you're just they
just feel like you're just always sitting on fire they're never good enough right like I mean really exceptional leaders learn how to access the different frequencies and use them at the right moment in the right degree and and so if you could see this almost as a chemical compound and realize um I'm
an alchemist and I and I I have this Alchemy available to me and I need to bring them in in the right way at the right time with the right people and it can able produce magic yeah I have a question for you and it's relating something in my own personal life that
you just said that just remembered here so you're the eternal optimist I think and your wife has to be concerned about lots of things and I I think cuz my wife and I have talked about this cuz I'm a Carefree spirit I always think everything's going to work out even when they don't
and she's has to come in and repair the things that are broken and so it's in a way that through therapy I started to learn that because I am who I am pulling so far towards One Direction she has to pull equally strong in the other direction so if I was more concerned
and and careful with my relationships and the things that I'm doing then she could relax and be The Optimist I I want to get your thoughts on that yes if you seem like you don't care or you're not afraid or you don't see the problem she feels like she has to compensate by
being more yes and the difference is that you do see the problem but you don't see the problem as terminal you just you see it as as catalytic and and and by the way I think a part of that is I actually do think you probably are a maven and uh um and
when you're married to someone who's more like a maven uh it's a really miserable life because you never see the world the way they need you to see the world right and early in our marriage um you know Kim would fight me on ideas all the time and then one day she said
I just can't see what you see so I trust you I don't trust a single one of your ideas but I trust you yeah and what you have to realize is that she's the one that has to live with blind faith not you no you're you're moving into the unknown into the uncertain
into the mysterious but you're kind of designed to see it and so you don't even want to live anywhere else it pulls you it's like it's like a siren that moves you in you know to potential failure or disaster and she can't see what you see but she can see you and so
I think sometimes you have to pause long enough so she can see you and what I mean by that is that you can see her you can say hey I'm not risking everything like this is this is how much risk I'm taking on U this is what I'm protecting you know and with
with Kim you know she has all these projects around the world all she really cares about is to be able to serve the people around the world that she's committed to helping like she'll say am I going to have more money from Malawi I go yes she goes okay go do your thing
you know um she still buys her clothes and stuff from Walmart in Target she you know that my wife was an orphan from 8 to 18 she lived in poverty she's never had a a single material desire in her life that I know of but she makes me help her find millions and
millions of dollars to build schools and to help women around the world and you know to end poverty and you know and so I I have to stay really creative so that she can stay really generous M and and I think that's a part of it is that the way you see the
world makes your your marriage challenging because you can't meet at what you see you have to meet at who you are do that make sense yeah and then when you do that you know she's fine too because she goes you know I trust you yeah you know she just wants to make sure
that you're paying attention to things that matter to her and then when you when she feels certain in that then she feels incredible Freedom let you go crazy right yeah you mentioned the word trust a couple times and the word love and there was a bit I I watched you speak about that
Love is Easy trust is hard can you can you expand on that please um yeah it's for me actually I do find love to be strangely easy yeah and um when when when when we were getting married what I actually my my inner the inner voice inside of me said Kim has never
had one person say I love you to her she's lived an absolute poty all of her life she was abandoned by her parents and I get the privilege of loving this person like I get to try to convince her that unconditional love exists and so a lot of people when they tell me
why they got married it's always about what they can get out of the marriage I gen got married because I thought what a gift it would be to love someone like this and um and so I've never been disappointed because she's always been worthy of love and um trust is is very very
different it's like forgiveness and trust people say well I don't want to forgive them you know and I go no what you I think what you really really mean is I don't want to trust them and you think if you forgive them you have to trust them but know forgiveness is is is
is an extension of love you forgive freely you trust carefully and I think that's a part of the dynamic there is I think trust is harder because it's so easily lost but um and I I have great studies on this um untrustworthy people don't trust people trustworthy people trusts people so the people
who go there's no one that can be trusted out there don't trust them because the reason they can't find anyone is because they're not one of them but the people who go there's trustworthy people everywhere they're actually trustworthy so I've realized for myself in my life um if I stopped trusting I've actually
lost myself not other people and and so you know who do you want to find right um I travel the world I find hopeful people I find trustworthy people I find people full of joy and love I find compassionate people and I think out of all the blams on this world I still
will never get to meet all the incredibly beautiful wonderful people in the world and and so it motivates me to be the best kind of human because I want to be able to find the best kind of humans and I know I can only see them if I am one there was something
else that you also said about relationships where it's easier to say I love you it's harder to say I trust you so if you go to an event if you are in a place where you're a very attractive person and people might come and I that really hit me and it really resonated
with like the message you're right it's the trust thing that like where are you going now why you going there it's like but you love me but do you not trust me and my judgment or my ideas well I think one thing is you know love is supposed to be unconditional yes so
when you say I love you you're saying something about your posture toward them when you say I trust you you're saying something about their posture towards you that you believe you can trust them with yourself with your life with your dreams with your hopes does that make sense yeah you know and my
my rule when my kids were little was who would I leave my kids with yeah and that became like my inner circle I go I I I can say I trust a lot of people but there's a lot of people there only a few people I would let be near my kids when
they were little and only a few I would leave my kids with when I was going to go out on a date with my wife or something like that those are the people you really trust because when you trust someone with innocence that's the highest level of trust MH and and as a
leader when you have a team I don't care if you're hiring managers or you're hiring people that you're saying everyone under their influence or authority or power can trust that person so I think that that developing an organization that can be trusted is one of the most important things in the world you
know you know I'm a part of a community in in LA and different parts of the world called Mosaic and I'm never everywhere CU I can't be in fact I'm I'm at 1% of everything but I have people that I trust with my life and and so I don't have to be in
every room to me I'm in every room because I have people I trust there I don't lose any sleep when they in the room now they may make a dumb decision happens all the time they may make a wrong you know choice in terms of business or choice of execution but I trust
who they are you can fix any problem if you have the right kind of people MH but you cannot you cannot fix the organization if you have the wrong people because the the decisions aren't the problem it's the people making decisions MH yeah so you know and I've tried to teach this to
my kids and the people who also starting businesses you can manage details or you can manage relationships and when you choose people you trust you don't have to manage details anymore and that's when you're actually free you know and I don't want to be more and more and more successful so that I'm
parenting more and more people you know and micromanaging more and more details I want to be more successful so that I can be free and other people can be free and the more you trust people the more freedom you have I have just one quick followup and then a much more open-ended question
maybe that that'll be a good way to end this you mentioned Shadow can you please explain the shadow Parts yeah um I I wish I could say that you know we're always all in the light but I know I'm not always in the light you know I know there are shadows inside of
me and I fight with them and I wrestle with them and you know um the shadow of of a motivators is a performer and have you ever listened to someone on stage and you thought I know what they're saying is right but some I don't I don't know if they're really speaking to
me yeah you know I I think they're they're performing for me rather than communicating with me and um and and you can see that subtlety there and and what happens oftentimes is motivators are natural communicators they're just very good at holding an audience but uh cuz a lot of my team have a
motivator gift and I'll have to sit down with them and I'll say Hey you were so compelling but you were not authentic and I'll say I I I want to know how much of yourself you want to give away because the greatest gifts you can give people is yourself and one of the
funniest things is my son was speaking when he came back from New York he learned a style in New York that I did not enjoy and cuz I didn't feel like it was his authentic self and one day I I kept saying to him I just need you to be authentic I just
need you to be authentic I just need you to be authentic and and then one day he looked at me goes dad what if my authentic self is inauthentic and and now you know we do a podcast together and he's so brutally authentic I'm like cover it up just a little bit and
um but that that motivator performer the the Challenger can become a manipulator and the the commander can become a dictator uh the the the professor can become a demeanor and the Healer can actually become a guru person that um people turn to them for healing rather than um look for healing from within
themselves and um a Seer and um man I can't remember the exact language um um but oh yeah a SE can become a a perfectionist because they think their vision is the only way and and they start micromanaging the details rather than the big picture and and you know we I struggled U
with the maven in fact when I was writing the book my team that was working with me said you got to rewrite the whole chapter on mavens and I said why and he said it's not ringing true hardest thing in writing is to tell the truth every time I write a book I
I have this Mantra tell the truth tell the truth it's from Stephen King and um and I realized ah I'm not telling the truth cuz it's me I'm like being guarded M you know and um and you know so I I was like laying out a secondary cause problem but not a primary
cause problem you know and and there's just something um destructive about the shadow of Maven because they can um they can become like a neolist they can they can they don't know what's true so they destroy everything that's true they um I I know even when I was young and I was in
college if you believed in God I would I would debate with you to make you not believe in God and if you did not believe in God I would debate with you to make you believe in God and I realized I don't really have a position I just wanted to change the way
they saw reality which is a very dangerous posture to have and so it's it's almost like you can become Thanos you know you're the Eater of the world you just want to destroy what everyone believes because you don't know what to believe so no one deserves to have a belief mhm and you
know and so I I I kind of put that the dark side of a of a maven as a as a person who's a neist or just destroying what we know but not giving us what needs to be known and so those are like the seven Shadows that um they're there in interplay
you know in life and and you can see them and sometimes we can go back and forth you know especially in our interpersonal relationships especially when we're with someone all the time like a husband or wife or our kids because it's hard to always be in your light you know and I would
just say the way to move toward your light is always is being motivated by love and when you're motivated by self you go to your shadows when you're motivated by love you go to toward your light and that's how you express those it's like the motivator who cares about helping people grow in
their own self-belief it's just it just fill the room with light but the motivator who desperately needs to be loved and affirmed in the stage is really for their need to be affirmed and be important they become a performer and so you can just see that you can you know ask yourself am
I motivated by love am I motivated by S and you can know if you're moving toward your Shadow or toward the light I I love the way you explain things and how you make very complicated things fairly simple to understand so that all of a sudden when you started describing the shadow I'm
mapping myself my friends and I'm like oh that explains a lot because they took the light and they went to the self and then went into the darkness and it's like I I know friends that are going to listen to this podcast I'm not shooting anything at anybody you you check in with
yourself but all of a sudden Things become really clear I I have this thing that I'm going to talk about and it's something I really believe in my heart and it's a expression from a quote from Picasso I hope I get this right that the meaning of life is to discover your gift
and the purpose is to give it away yeah and I think when I found what I think my gift is I'm more fulfilled I'm I'm filled with energy and there's just like a never ending battery I feel that way about you I just wanted to know do you feel that about yourself and
if so I want to ask you another question no no absolutely in fact I love Picasso you know and um uh and I think that's exactly right you know when when you begin to give your life away you're not searching for happiness anymore you you're just you're just basking in it yeah it's
almost as if you didn't realize you'd found it you know the moment you stop searching for it it's there and um and I and I do think for me you know I'm I'm I'm in my 20s I became a follower of Jesus and and when I began to re realign my life saying
I'm going to give my life to help other people it just changed everything for me yeah yeah so it's right right around 20 yeah okay so the the thing how I console myself at night when I see you speak as I'm like you're powerful I I feel like you just made it up
right before you got on stage like it didn't require the kind of torture that I have to go through and I I just I'm in awe and I and I remember you telling me well I've been doing this for 40 years so I'm like on year 10 so I feel like I still
have another 30 years to work towards this goal so it's just a beautiful thing that it seems to me like you found this gift very early in your life and you were able to hone in on it you didn't deny it you didn't run away from it you didn't try to suppress it
and you did this thing and your light is the the stuff that's emanating and I can just see that people are just so drawn to you in the things that you have to say so it's a beautiful thing to see it and to recognize it uh is there any advice you would give
to people who are still maybe not in the dark but in the gray where they're not quite sure and they're's questioning their life and their life decisions is there anything you can say to them as they're listening into this on their walk or at their computer that maybe this is their moment to
to see that light in themselves yeah I think one of the challenges is that when you see someone who you perceive to be very successful or they found their path or have a deep sense of identity we think oh I want that so we try to emulate that and that's the wrong thing
to emulate you don't want to emulate their outcome you want to emulate how they found their compass and and and for me it was an intersection of unexpected gifting like I didn't know I could communicate like I was a super introverted very quiet very shy person um I think before before I began
speaking I felt I had something to say and I felt like I had to find a way to translate that to the world and so once I had a sense of um of a must you know my brother and I brother Alex would talk about the the one who must and I love
that phrase like I think that when you find your must like I I don't it's not about money it's not about success it's not about affirmation it's not about anybody else this is just what I must do and when you do that things begin to fall into place and you know Kim and
I because we've been together so long it's hard for me to even think of adult who without you know my wife um but I had a must from you know the age of 20 or so and and I just like I wanted to make a contribution to make the world better and I
and I just felt like I would that I would do that poor Rich so for a huge season of our life we Ste on the floor I mean probably 10 years of my life I never made more than $115,000 a year I mean I lived in pretty dismal poverty in that sense I
never felt unhappy I never felt a victim I I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be enjoying life so much I mean here we are I mean we are dirt poor we can't afford a bed we're sleeping on the floor with blankets and we're exhilarated by the joy of being alive and we
get up every day excited to live and ours was an incredible romance and you know it's like and and I never had a thought of why me and then I remember one day after maybe being married 10 years I said honey I think that um I I feel like I have permission to
go create some wealth and she said you're you're capable of creating wealth she just married this poor guy you know and uh and I said yeah I've I've always known that Craig wal I just never gave myself permission because I was going to be a monastic that was like my whole image was
I'm a monastic you know and and she goes well if you're capable it'd be great if you would just get at it you know and you know what it's funny is that each time in our life um I almost felt like I needed permission somehow and but it's never changed what made me
happy so when people if you're listening and you're like I just can't find a reason to live or I just don't know if how to find my purpose like just find the most good you can do find out what you're pretty good at and go do good and as you do more and
more good at what you're good at you just start getting better at it I didn't know that starting in the highest crime rate murder rate area of the United States speaking to people there trying to help them out of poverty would be the incubator from which I would develop the skills to speak
to nearly million to millions of people around the world and to have that as my career when I was doing that I wasn't planning for this I found incredible satisfaction and joy in it when I was speaking to 20 people it was as if it it was the most important thing in the
world and I actually think that's the key when you do the small things as if it is the most important thing in the world you develop the skills necessary to do the most important things in the world what a great way to end our conversation I'm excited for when this book is coming
out when is it coming out it's coming out August 8th 2024 in like a month oh wow like really really soon yeah so when so when this comes out okay it may be out there in the world we'll make sure to include the links in the description so be sure you guys check
that out that' be great and there's also an assessment with it okay that if people want to take the assessment figure out there seven frequencies and the Order of them we make that available to okay so then I can verify if what you said is true and I feel like what you said
is true so now I'm just going to confirm it yeah wonderful thank thanks very much for being thank you so much Chris for and I I would love to have more conversation with you but that's it for this episode and if people want to find out more about you where do they go
um I think go to Irwin mmis.ga.gov and I've encouraged my friends before and if if you heard me say this many many times before and if you've never done it this would be the one time you do need to do it go check out Irwin's content on Instagram there's like powerful nuggets ways
of reframing things and just making you or helping you to understand the world in a different way in case you're stuck somewhere thanks very much everyone thank you so thank you if you want to equip yourself with the right Community training and resources to take your business to the next level I want
to personally invite you to check out the future progroup group and our membership specifically created for experienced business owners ready to scale
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“You can orchestrate the words, but you can’t hide your frequency.”
— Chris Do
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